Empty Desires

Sometimes,I am not sure what I want.
My brain tells me otherwise,and my heart tells me to stop.
One minute I am happy.

And the next ,lonely.
I wished for peaceful sleep and woke up groggy.
It’s like I don’t know what I want.

But my heart tells me I want or need something.
An ember flame warms my soul.
And during that moment,I felt whole.

For a while,I wondered what it is I need.
But that flame made me catch up with speed.
And my mind was crystal clear.

Before the flame,pain was to blame.
One moment I want this,the next that.
One moment I disguise myself with a hat.

The next,I put it into thought.
Do I want happiness and comfort?
Do I want a toy robot?

My mind gets foggy before me,and I forget how to breathe.
I forgot how to feel and what I need.
I ponder as I eat.

But should I eat a dish with vegetables or meat?
Will then I have crystal clear desires?
Or is my uncertainty gonna cause forest fires?

And so,that flame was presented to me.
Warm,safe.
And for a moment it stopped my bleeding wounds.

In the past,hurtful words made me unsure and uncertain.
What is it I really need?
The flame warmed me up.

It was devoid of evil and greed.
When it came up to me,I realised what I needed.
Warm,safe arms around me.

Health and happiness true.
To feel blissful,to not be a fool.
The flame came and said to me.

I know just the things you need.
And your reality will be empty of greed.
You need happiness,reassurance,and familiar warmth.

Hot meals and kind love.
Now I know that is what I needed.
I tiredly closed my eyes and proceeded.