Oh, this is good, Damian.

There’s a song in there somewhere.Obviously in a minor key.

Great write🤘

I would be bored with the norm as well. This is good Damian

Powerful writing, my friend.

First this can be both a poem and a song, it has the beat of a song. Second, You said in your note that instead of thinking wiser You rolled with it, but truth to be said your poem from first line to the final is all wisdom. For me this is a monologue with the inner self to make sense of what is not sense, To be aware of everything that happened and what is needed to be changed, the “had enough” and welling to breaking the patten of the same repeation is felt in the final verse, your poems always has a personal feeling and that make them special.

Oh damn, that last verse hit hard. After each of the other verses, it became a hammer of defiance. I’m not sure I believe in a norm. It always just strikes me as others expecting you to be more like them. Meet them at their level because they’re too lazy to move. To evolve. No thank you. This is another strong piece. And I think just rolling with it worked out beautifully, my friend

Nice.

Powerful work, my friend. Vivid and sharp.

Damian when the illusions melt away and the masks are gone there is a great since of liberation as well as sadness. Not fitting in can make one feel alone but at the same time emancipated from a lifetime of being a square peg in a round hole. Truly great poetry here, my friend. You have given me the reader a glimpse into a life that is honest to oneself. I am most enriched to have read this.

John

Nice to see the structured discipline.
Cathartic work.

Now this is what I call perfect poetry

Thank you so much for the compliment. I enjoyed the processes and your guidance.

Goodness-ME, Fia!🍷

I’m amazed at how well you’ve done with your first effort at writing a Sonnet … it just goes to show the wonders waiting to be unlocked and freed under the surface of one’s bountiful potential.

This is no small accomplishment, and one you should be exceedingly proud of, as only a rare few of all poetesses and poets can compose a correct Sonnet. The Sonnet form is known as the Rolls Royce of poetry, and due to its “iambic pentameter” requirement many give-up before ever mastering its beautifully rhythmical unstressedSTRESSED meter.

How exemplary your natural creativity fits so smoothly into the diction and syntax of each line, and how perfectly your lines enjamb and break. Emotion, metaphor, imagery, grammar, spot-on rhymes (except, V2, L3&4, but it’s near-rhyme and can be addressed anytime) … also, your all around theme and ambiance are held faithfully throughout.

Poignantly sad, you convey a tale so many can relate to in so many ways … you’re an amazingly original poetess, Fia, with a broad potential to master the art of poetry few possess.

Thank you for sharing your lovely potic skills, to inspire us all at the “Back to Poetry Basics” group.
You make an olde bard ‘n teacher so proud and ohhhh-sooo very happy! ⁓ Richard🖌

Beautifully penned, Fia. Excellent sonnet my friend, you can do anything you put your mind to cuz. Nicely done. Appreciate you.

Damian

Tremendous work.