I’m big on the closing lines of a poem. What an impact they make. It’s the impression your reader walks away with, that stays in your head like a song you can’t shake. The lost loves and the unrequited loves are always on my hit list. You nailed this one, Damian…so good!

This was hidden? Man, this was screaming to be let out. “No winners because the race was fixed.” Yup.
This is a great piece, cuz

The last stanza is a real ass kicker! The rhyme scheme is cool too. It’s obvious that you care about your results. It shows in your craftings. This is thought provoking, but not heavy. Well done Damian.

I too enjoyed the rhyme scheme. Everyone can relate to this. We’ve all been there.
When you both know it was over a few months back!
Great write amigo!

wow dearest Damian so much power and passion in this I am floored ❤️great write…

Now aint that the truth so bloomin well poemed .. Say it like it is why don’tcha eh .. Great ink Damian & subsequently awarded Nev’s dubble 👍👍

This is dark, deep, and brilliant, Damian. I’m glad you dug it out of the vault! The honesty in this poem is cutting, and the final lines–“instead of owning we rented / while love got strangled” –are a phenomenal, memorable finish. A wicked good read.

“another moment dies”

That’s the thing people lose sight of. Once the moment is gone…it’s gone. What we make of it bears a lot of weight. I’d rather carry honest weight than the baggage of pretense. I’m glad you found this one. It needed to breathe, my friend

Damian, great rhyme and flow while delivering a strong message.
Excellent work sir.

Hard hitting piece. So true my friend. kick-ass write Damian.

You took me into this scene. I felt this.

Powerfully penned, Kelly. Excellent write my friend. Appreciate you.

Damian

Figuring out the small stuff can be overwhelming! Thank god for solitaire.
I enjoy the sound and feel of shuffling a deck of cards. It takes away all the noise in your head.
That’s where my mind took me while reading this. Feeling this and really putting myself in the scene.
Loved this!

Hello Adelphina! I very much enjoy playing solitaire, too…and you’re right, it does calm down the noise in your head. It was the perfect fit for this poem too, I think. Thank you so much for your review. I am most thrilled to meet you!

readin this hits hard so full of pain I’ve been there but that is the nature of love isn’t it to bring us so much pleasure then so much pain no way around it… great write ❤️

its that kind of stuff that will always get in the way and stops us in our tracks every time isn’t it .. the guy was a fool .. and just between you n me .. I know a good hitman who owes me a favour or two .. write on K .. N

Beautiful piece….sad but beautiful.🙏

Love….it’s a blessing and a curse at the same time. They just take turns. This is a sad one, Kelly. All those lonely people on youtube could probably relate in their own way to this. There’s always meaning behind your poems. 🙂

Thank you, Tim. So good to finally see the man behind the poet!

It took me a while before I got “used to” a lonely bed. Kelly, your poem hits home, and all I can think to say is, it’s a hard task sleeping in a lonely bed, where memories linger and the smell of them remains, even after many washings of sheets.

How about a game of gin rummy, over a triple shot of Black Label on the rocks? ;0)

Curt

You are a very good writer yaknow.
And, you must be pretty young, because Jack Daniels is for the younger crowd (so I’ve seen, lol) and we older folks sip Jim Beam. Of course there’s Jamison, but it feels stereotypical when I drink it, LOL.
You ensnare us with all the intricate details within your writes. The thread count sheets, as an example. That is precision detail.
You could easily carry a longer write, and we would be most grateful, because you write so well. It’s good to have you here, you bring quite the talent.

Wow, you sure know how to articulate a compliment! Thank you most kindly for acknowledging the precision detail in my work. I strive for that, that and writing with the brevity of words. I do have lengthier pieces, which I will be posting soon. It’s good to be here. I am quite comfortable in the company of kindness! You’ve made my day. Thank you, again!

Powerfully penned, Fia. Into the book it belongs! Excellent write my friend, I felt the sting of your words. Appreciate you, cuz.

Damian

We do what we must. Well, the good ones do! Like you.
Speak your words, Fia. Take a bow and some praise. It ain’t easy out there. Luckily you’ve discovered the therapy of ceative writing. It DOES help. It can save souls, if we trust ourselves to focus on hope.
Wonderful, uplifting write my dear.

Man. I can relate to this. Not just myself but with my friends and family.
There is no telling where I’d be without my mom. She is my rock.
So empowering!! Thank you for posting !!

The kids are everything. And if they’re not…something ain’t right. Felt this one in my maternal DNA.

Whatever it takes!

Life can be cruel and unfair, so I thank God for mothers like this. It is my great hope that their sacrifices will be rewarded–if not in this life, then the next.

Life is a fight. You have invoked a great feeling of grit and determination.
Regards James

I felt this deep in my marrow. Your dedication to those children renewed my faith in humankind. The struggle to keep your children fed and housed moved my heart deeply. This is truly one of your very best poems. It speaks to me of a mother’s love and her oh so protective spirit t keep her children safe, healthy, and well. This is much more than a poem it is a living breathing testament to a mother’s love. I loved this so much.

John

I can imagine doing that but it would be hard to hide a smile. This is a cool write.

Sounds like a decent way to enjoy Cuntry Music….one letter makes a lot of difference.

Gotta have the “O”!

Mornings in Australia are always better when I read your posts.
🙏

I’m glad you enjoy them. Thanks for commenting! It’s a positive stroke that fuels my creativity.