just a permanent scab
the one you constantly pick
i’m the back you stab
the one vice you can’t kick
everything feels so heavy
with this weight i carry
why don’t you tell me
how i’m not so scary
unable to speak the truth
so we repeat a lie
accusations without proof
it’s the argument we deny
there are no winners
because the race is fixed
childish fools or beginners
our desires never mixed
so why be surprised
we read each others eyes
the future compromised
another moment dies
each breath became urgent
every word tangled
instead of owning we rented
while love got strangled
Copyright @ Damian DeadLove 2023
I’m big on the closing lines of a poem. What an impact they make. It’s the impression your reader walks away with, that stays in your head like a song you can’t shake. The lost loves and the unrequited loves are always on my hit list. You nailed this one, Damian…so good!
Thanks so much for reading and your kind words, Kelly. So glad you connected with the write my friend. I agree with you, coming from a lyrical background, I always love a good line. But the beginning and ending are very important indeed. Appreciate you.
Damian
This was hidden? Man, this was screaming to be let out. “No winners because the race was fixed.” Yup.
This is a great piece, cuz
Thanks so much for reading and your kind words, Fia. So glad you connected with the write my friend. I wrote this before joining DU. I love that line as well. It was screaming to be let out. Appreciate you, cuz.
Damian
The last stanza is a real ass kicker! The rhyme scheme is cool too. It’s obvious that you care about your results. It shows in your craftings. This is thought provoking, but not heavy. Well done Damian.
Thanks so much for reading and your kind words, Mark. So glad you connected with the write my friend. It was an ass kicker, I penned this during a time of self-therapy and reflection. I’ve always cared, always executing is another story. This was a cool discovery, because I had forgotten about it. lol. Appreciate you.
Damian
I too enjoyed the rhyme scheme. Everyone can relate to this. We’ve all been there.
When you both know it was over a few months back!
Great write amigo!
Thanks so much for reading and your kind words, Adel. So glad you connected with the write my friend. It’s a relatable story indeed. Appreciate you.
Damian
wow dearest Damian so much power and passion in this I am floored ❤️great write…
Thanks so much for reading and your kind words, Brenda. So glad you connected with the write my friend. It was a very reflective time in my life to say the least. Appreciate you.
Damian
Now aint that the truth so bloomin well poemed .. Say it like it is why don’tcha eh .. Great ink Damian & subsequently awarded Nev’s dubble 👍👍
Thanks so much for reading and your kind words, Neville. So glad you connected with the write my friend. Sometimes you gotta say it loud and proud. Honored to receive the dubble. Appreciate you.
Damian
This is dark, deep, and brilliant, Damian. I’m glad you dug it out of the vault! The honesty in this poem is cutting, and the final lines–“instead of owning we rented / while love got strangled” –are a phenomenal, memorable finish. A wicked good read.
Thanks so much for reading and your kind words, Roma. So glad you connected with the write my friend. Those final lines are my favorite as well. It was penned in a time of self-reflection, and getting to really know myself. Without my addiction clouding my vision. Appreciate you.
Damian
“another moment dies”
That’s the thing people lose sight of. Once the moment is gone…it’s gone. What we make of it bears a lot of weight. I’d rather carry honest weight than the baggage of pretense. I’m glad you found this one. It needed to breathe, my friend
Thanks so much for reading and your kind words, Willow. So glad you connected with the write my friend. Spot on in your analysis as always, it did need to breathe a little. It was simmering on the stove in the word kitchen. lol. Appreciate you.
Damian
Damian, great rhyme and flow while delivering a strong message.
Excellent work sir.
Thanks so much for reading and your kind words, Wally. So glad you connected with the write my friend. Appreciate you.
Damian
Hard hitting piece. So true my friend. kick-ass write Damian.
Thanks so much for reading and your kind words, Keith. So glad you connected with the write my friend. Appreciate you.
Damian