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redzone wrote a new post
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redzone wrote a new post
6 Comments-
This is a beautiful portrayal of Native American culture. I love the part where she bestowed wisdom to him.
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Most people don’t know the ugly history of the US. They do not know of the ‘Trail of Tears’ and the forced march suffered by Native American peoples. And some think it was only the Cherokee on this ‘trail’. It included the Cree, Seminole, and Miccosukee, and other Tribes. Many thousands died along the way. This horror is part of what they want to erase from the history books.
My ancestors (a long ago Grandmother on my father’s side), were slaughtered by the Dutch. She was Lenape.
Thank you Mary, for sharing, it means a lot to me.
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I love Native America, Native America tales, wisdom, music and wolves, their howls and cries. and like expected of their music, the one you’ve shared holds sadness within its layers. I amdire your poem for the simplicity yet the depth it has, normally longer poems don’t keep me along the reading, but here it’s different, I read it all with no pressure, it feels like home, the Native America home… the burnt sage caught me because it’s in my culture too.
the sheer wisdom and magnificence of the final two verses are for real something else. True loves comes when You find your own whole self, when You win your spiritual test and yes finds the home in You (how I love this phrase!) You don’t need someone to complete You, You want someone to share it with You. yet, even that the broken hearted wolf knows this truth, he also knows that sometimes You must feel it all to be able to let it go or pass to the new stage. a truly brilliant piece my friend ✨-
Hi Light, I think your comment is better than my poem. Thank you! And yes, true love is sharing, not dominating, not completing, not two becomes one, but seeing each other with mutual respect and equals.
In the new year, I am submitting a manuscript for a book of many of my Native American poems. It is still to be determined whether it well be accepted. But if it is it will be my 5th book of poetry. The book is titled “Poems Caught In My Dreamcatcher”. I will announce its publication here at SR.
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Styxian wrote a new post
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I was talking to a co-worker the other day, about if we should tell our loved ones or not if we are “terminal”. Because it changes the dynamics of the relationship right away. Happiness is hard to have then. It’s always bittersweet from then on.
So, I began this write based on the dilemma. But then the whole moth aspect gave me a different approach, like a focal point away from the gloom.
I will undoubtedly hack at this some more, slightly, but for now this is what I got.
Thank you honey! It’s a bit heavy I know. Just a write I swear! 😉 -
This is a wonderful sad and bittersweed writing on a difficult and heavy topic, dear Styxian! The moth as a spirit guide is a well chosen and meaningful symbol. A moth knows how to die. It focuses only on the light and its overwhelming attraction towards it. I think death can show us what really matters in life. Gratitude for everything we have experienced in life, for the people we love and for all of life here on Earth. Of course, a terminal disease comes with many burdens and hardships but it also gives you the chance to say goodbye and to surrender completely to love – just like a moth does.
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I’ve dealt enough with death over the years. Sometimes it takes awhile for the grieving to set in, too. We try to focus sometimes, on other things less final. I tend to pick simplistic metaphoric things because its easier to relate to. And yes, the moth is always reaching for the light. Perhaps as we humans do, when we must go.
Thank you kindly, Elke. Though it was only creative writing and not reality, it is something that awaits us all in some form. Even as the survivor.
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Jeez Mark, this is beautifully heart breaking and offers much food for thought. The moth motif is a clever touch.
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Yes the big “C” through neighbors and family we are familiar with this destroyer of home, family, and bank accounts. We remember while younger a neighbor was sent back home to die with stomach cancer. Dude you would not believe the screams, the entire neighborhood felt relief with his passing. Maybe, just maybe this moth was also is spirit guide. To tight dude
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I’ve been around that sonofabitch death too much. It tries to numb us, but we’re too human to be too cold.
I would believe the screams. We had a guy gut-shot and it took forever to get the medic helicopter to us. He hollered so much some guys started yelling at him to STFU! It is not like TV or movies, at all.
Thanks for the Props!
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Brilliantly penned, Mark. This one has layers and depth my friend, and it pulled on the heartstrings as well. Excellent write. Appreciate you.
Damian
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I enjoyed this. It is full of images and captures the rolling duality of life and death, with style.
Regards James
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redzone wrote a new post
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That’s a beautiful expression of hope and yearning! The central metaphor of the garden, particularly the image of “putting my hands in your dark soil,” really captures a deep desire for creation and connection, even when starting “late in life.”
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I think RomaJ, there is always the need for and desire for connections, perhaps even love. I love to garden for real . I have two gardens one where I live and another at my son’s house. Both have had good harvests this year. But as a metaphor, gardens can hold special meaning, and I can remember a time when this metaphor was alive, as was I.
RomaJ your comments have been a delight for me, and they are appreciated by me more than you know. THANK YOU!!!
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AWWW Valuptas, your are making me blush. I was going to go food shopping this morning but now I can’t, my face is too red. What will the neighbors think?? They will ask questions and then laugh. At some point, my face will return to normal, but until then, THANK YOU so much for being “pulled in”. OMG, I’m still blushing…. HELP!!! ;0)
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redzone wrote a new post
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The imagery of “lips spit fire, yet taste like Chardonnay” is such a vivid paradox, and the way you connect her kiss to both a visual “kaleidoscope of colors” and the sound of “psithurism” is beautiful. It makes the experience truly multi-sensory. Beautifully penned.
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Hi Ms Valuptas, I would not want your royal “whispering” (unholy or otherwise), sitting in a jail cell. How else would I receive such beautiful comments?
For most of the poetry I write, I add music. I think it adds to the feel and meaning of the poem. Sade’s song “Kiss of Life” was a really good fit for this poem. And yes, I am “foxy”… er… I mean… damn, did I say that out loud? Actually, more “wolfy” than “foxy”. But you know, wolfs can be sly too. ;0)
Anyway, sorry about the couch. THANK YOU for the comment, the visit, and for making my poem feel special!
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I remember this song well. Tremendous work. You nailed it.