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redzone wrote a new post
11 Comments-
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You turned the poem into something else with this, “and all the common words of my peasant’s pen.” Following the next verse, IF you didn’t brilliantly did this, it would have been just a strong sensual poem, but with how amazingly You brought a higher level with the last two line of verse one, then the gorgeous verse two, is what makes the poem very special to me, exploring and expressing a deeper connection. I believe Pablo would admire this🤍
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One of the things I love about Neruda’s poetry is his use of everyday words. With them, he word paints images, metaphors and a feeling of LIFE that exists and surrounds us with HOPE.
Light, thank you so much for your insight and understanding of what I wanted (no, needed) to express. If Neruda were still alive, I think I would be tempted to send this poem to him.
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Damian DeadLove joined the group
”BACK TO POETRY BASICS”
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Light💕 wrote a new post
17 Comments-
When we write our words, we do leave pieces of us on the page. We are the words, we are the message that we want the reader to “breathe” in and savor. Your pen name, as one of the fundamental elements, is what is seen, heard and felt in this poem, Light! The air that words breathe!
-Curt
(ps. in your 3rd line did you mean to say “lit” or “light’ or “lite”?? I hope you don’t mind my asking.)
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Good Coffee Morning ☕
PLEASE, share and ask anything, it’s how we develop besides my English isn’t the best😊
I mean the verb of “light”, lit, kindle… if You have suggestions or if You have other thoughts, I’m opened ears.
Thank You again for such a kind and heartwarming visit, yesterday out of nowhere the first words of this poem were ringing in my head, so I said there is no problem in sharing something old. I’m happy I did 😊
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How I wish I had got here first .. I had been waiting for these words to ease or take away my hunger .. Having said that, I am not surprised that so many others beat me to them as I imagine those that have visited you before were just as hungry as me .. Another keeper as far as I am concerned .. Shine on dear Light now and always .. Your friend, Me .. 💛⭐🌟⭐🌟🌻👍
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Neville never fails to make G girl’s heart smiles and flatter💓 I’m really and truly grateful for your words and friendship🤍 may your heart knows only joy and happiness ✨🙏🏻✨ your friend too, Me*
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redzone wrote a new post
4 Comments-
What a raw and intense tribute to Africa!
I’ve never been but you put into words and song a powerful truth.
How do we aim to live with it. Just wow-
Hi Adelphina, thanks for your visit. I wrote this during a time when my poems had more of an ‘edge’ to them. I wanted my poetry to be part of and reflect a culture of resistance, that was not agitprop but still drove straight to the heart of the reader. To tell the truth about the world but not preach at people. This poem began that journey. I liked this poem and so workshopped it with a writers group at the University of Iowa, and then I submitted it to some literary magazines, but none of them printed it. Oh well.
Adelphina, thank you for your comment; it is truly appreciated.
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This poem is powerful. Both a song of mourning and a call to remembrance. I love how the repetition and rhythm make “Africa” itself feel like a heartbeat pulsing through each stanza.
The imagery is rich with longing and pride, and the movement from loss to reclamation is deeply moving. It feels like a spiritual homecoming through language itself.
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This poem beautifully channels Neruda’s sensual spirit. The union of passion, earth, and language. The imagery feels both intimate and elemental, echoing the way Neruda made love and nature inseparable.
It’s a stirring tribute that captures his essence…beautifully penned.