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Fia Naturie posted in the group ”BACK TO POETRY BASICS”
This is my Free verse
Do you hear the sun?
As the rays beat down on the ground,
It is subtle but poignant
It’s purpose is to burn.
The exquisite heat,
does not match the coolness in your eyesDo you smell the wind?
Multicolored in its complexity
Surrounds you,
Invades your very core.
It gives you life.
Then withdraws to take your b…Read More -
Fia Naturie wrote a new post
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Damian DeadLove wrote a new post
15 Comments-
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It reads like an anthem for introverts. Society doesn’t like us much. They don’t like nuance & complication. We often find ourselves at the mercy of the abuser without even playing the game. They want easy, straightforward answers and guaranteed results, but like Kierkegaard said, “the crowd is untruth”.
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It’s a damn shame this one didn’t get its voice. I can hear it in my head. It’s powerful. You going to give it an album slot? Hint…hint… Seriously though, this is a fantastic piece. Going in my list, my friend!
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Thanks so much for reading and your kind words, Willow. So glad you connected with the write. It’s one of the few that did get music my friend. It appeared on a demo, along with a couple of other songs I’m a part of. It was kinda my fifteen minutes of fame on the local scene. I got to see the crowd at shows react to those songs, it was a rush like no other. It’s special to me without a doubt. I even had one song I was part of that was a live favorite, meaning the people called it out by name wanting it to be played. I literally had to pinch myself. lol. There were good moments admits the dysfunction. Appreciate you.
Damian
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You did an exceptional work here, You’ve expressed emotionally and psychically what abuse is, another lines that caught my attention,
“i am judged for their crimes
captive in a cell called resent”It’s when we get above our victim character we forive and we are free, we don’t forgive for them, we forgive for ourselves, for us living a life we deserve. Yet, some people don’t understand that this process doesn’t end in one day or two! and even many of those who were under abuse may spend their whole life without completely recover, and You see some people judge their actions, behaviors, way of living… etc putting more pressure on their emotional state making them shrink more into their own safety bubble. They don’t recognize the amount of work these persons have been doing to overcome their pains and hurt… then You see someone throw a silly ignorant word/s making things worse, like You are being the criminal instead of the victim.
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Thanks so much for reading and your kind words, Light. So glad you connected with the write my friend. That was one of my favorite lines as well. It’s a process for sure not something that can be solved in a day or two. Healing one’s self doesn’t have a set amount of time to complete the process. Often times it’s ongoing through the remainder of a persons life. Depends on how deep the scars are. I concur with your wonderful commentary. Appreciate you.
Damian
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Damian DeadLove and
Backdeckbenny (Peter) are now friends
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Fia Naturie wrote a new post
20 Comments-
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Fia, the river of your compassion for our soldiers flowed like deep channel of understanding and empathy here. This also flowed beautifully as a poem. I could feel the emotions you evoked with this poem. This is truly a poem of remembrance and understanding for people who sadly are left behind long after the battle is over because their battle continues long after the war is over.
John
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Your brilliant poem shines with empathy, respect and understanding. Sadly, history repeats itself again and again. How many reminders like your heart touching and thought provoking poem will be needed until humankind learns to solve conflicts non-violently? Peace my friend!
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Chère F.,
What an exceptional write!
And before we point the finger of blame (if this is English) it is good to know that every country made their own mistakes at one time or another.
And as Goldenmyst says: the battle continues long after the war is over.What an immense victory of talent (yours) over matter.
Warm regards, Gus
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It seems all these years later, we are still hearing the reverberation of the lyrics to John Lennon’s song, “Imagine”. Living life in peace. When will it ever be?
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Beautifully imagined, Fia, an excellent effort!
Deserves a VERY strong title!
ISSUES TO CONSIDER:
1. Unnecessarily Capitalizing every line, which tends to confuse when one complete line, thought, etc; begins or ends, effectively stumbling the flow, attention, and overall magical smoothness of a poem’s captive spell.
2. Poetic voice … how a poe…Read More