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Backdeckbenny (Peter) wrote a new post
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Fia Naturie wrote a new post
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Powerfully penned, Fia. Into the book it belongs! Amazing write my friend, with dark vibes very present. Appreciate you.
Damian
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G’Mornin’, Fia 🌤️
Good title, and what a great lead-in with V1’s frustrating contradictions setting the mood for what’s to come (L2, make it “you’re” sad).
Boy howdy! You sure know how to express the angst so many of us have had to endure and overcome; yet, it seems some never do … sadly so.You’re such a creative writer, Ria: I admire your keen ability to weave vivid imagery and emotion throughout every verse and in the use of spot-on rhymes, timely line-breaks, and smooth flow.
Excellent wrap-up verse, too. For rhyme’s sake with “despair,” consider using “there” rather than “here” (just a thought).“Wake, wake from this despair! (great poe-esque touch)
It is me you’re talking to …
no one else is there.”Fia, you’re such a joy to read and share with. 🌈
Thank you ever-so warmly! ⁓ Richard🖌 -
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Drieks wrote a new post
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Powerfully penned, Drieks. Nice arrangement, and you’re just a phenomenal lyricist my friend. So relevant in present times, and so unfortunately true. Excellent work. Appreciate you.
Damian
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Backdeckbenny (Peter) wrote a new post
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Thomas W. Case wrote a new post
9 Comments-
You write this story with such clarity and weave it into an engaging scene that reaches out and rivets my attention. Great poem.
John
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You have expressed a real life tale with honesty and clarity.
I have been there. Got locked up for being drunk in public myself once.
I think I said to a police officer “Your a C…U…N…T. I didn’t say it i just spelt it out.
He didn’t understand. When he realised what I was saying I was thrown in the van.
I they took my clothes and gave me some grey prison scrubs. When I sobered up I started singing prison songs.
“He’s in the jailhouse now.” and Locked up by Akon. Some counties in England are stricker on booze than others. I have been out of my mind all over England, but Yorkshire was the place they locked me up. Don’t do it in Yorkshire.Thanks for sharing this poem. I am glad to know I am not the only one.
regards
James -
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I have a collection of driftwood here with me. Because I couldn’t get over the beauty of something untethered just floating along, becoming weather & all the more beautiful for its age & travels. This one made me smile