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Fia Naturie posted in the group ”BACK TO POETRY BASICS”
Was born with eyes wide open
To be prepared for the truth
Not wanting to offend
What had happened on the roofHolding pasts in a box
We crawl, we stand, then walk
Rusty keys enter locks
Speaking words before caughtStreams of tears without sound
Lover’s end, rings withdrawn
heartbeat forever unbound
Dawn shows you were a p…Read More2 Comments -
RPM wrote a new post
7 Comments-
They are usually the reason we ever learned what longing means.. and the reason we write about it… beautiful
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This is so excellent. I’m really glad I read it, thanks for posting.
This particular stanza didn’t read smooth. If I may suggest…
That towel, is drawn tight
to guard her beauty.
His hands still remember
the soft curve shapes of her lovely breasts,
the gentle hollow where shadows meet.Great writing.
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Thanks for reading, and for your thoughtful analysis,Tim. I appreciate your constructive criticism very much.
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CasketSharpe wrote a new post
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Backdeckbenny (Peter) wrote a new post
4 Comments-
hello dearest Benny my pain is just too great to live any other way I’ve really honestly tried more than once and I will never willingly put myself through that again… this is powerful if you have a better way to cope I am happy for you my friend ❤️
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CasketSharpe wrote a new post
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Okay, Fia 👌 Thanks for your submission and participation. You’ve made a very good start, with the basic format of a Sonnet down pat … 3 Quatrains and a Rhyming Couplet, and your rhyme-scheme is spot-on. In particular, your topic is interesting, with emotion depth, strong metaphorical imagery, and captivating ambiance that sets the mood. With a b…Read More