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![Profile picture of twofiftythree]()
twofiftythree wrote a new post
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Read Moreinternal freefallsomethin slipped behind my eyesa break easin openas if the floor in my skulldecided to make roomand crumblewithout explainin why warmth flooded inwardlow and bright a slow pull beneath thoughtmy pulse roundin itselftil somethin loosened the shift came suddencleangravity turnin...
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![Profile picture of twofiftythree]()
twofiftythree wrote a new post
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Read Morethey gave me a word for itso I wouldn’t have to sayI like the waythe flames found youhow they wrapped round you and swallowed the little kingdom you built they gave me a wordthat sounds almost gentleconsiderinthe way I stood...
3 Comments-
![Profile picture of Betty]()
OH MY FUCKING GOD YES! I have this in my word list — I keep a list on my phone notes of words that tingle: Schadenfreude, Bifurcate, Aposematic, Etiology… so the title drew me in.
And good goddamn you told the story in lyric. IT WAS SO GOOD.
This was a standout. This was the stanza that made me come back three times:
there’s a particular beauty
to watchin someone burn
inside their own bullshit
the way the smoke
keeps spellin their name
long after everythin else forgets itTHE WAY THE SMOKE KEEPS SPELLING THEIR NAME?! That is brilliant and I’m in love with the image.
Really well penned.
Betty
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![Profile picture of twofiftythree]()
words that tingle…I like that. thanks Betty. glad ya liked it.
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![Profile picture of twofiftythree]()
aprreciate you Damian. like when get to see what parts stood out.
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![Profile picture of Fia Naturie]()
Fia Naturie wrote a new post
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Read MoreUnjust jealousyhas taken over meI cannot believethat you cannot seethat he is for me I will channel this rageas my pen flies across the pageThere is no smoke or sageThat will bless what is coming in spades You need to understandWhen...
22 Comments-
![Profile picture of Damian DeadLove]()
Powerfully penned, Fia. Excellent write my friend. Appreciate you, cuz.
Damian
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![Profile picture of Fia Naturie]()
Thank you, Damian 😊
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![Profile picture of Crimsin]()
hello beautiful Fia this is perfectly written and it’s true older women no more how to please a man I like an older man myself combined with a little arrogance great write ❤️
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![Profile picture of Fia Naturie]()
🩷thank you crimsin
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![Profile picture of I_IS_ ME]()
Love the flow first. but also the attitude of claiming what’s yours. Tight
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![Profile picture of Fia Naturie]()
Thank you Me 😉
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![Profile picture of Visions_of_Insanity]()
This is honest, real and demanding. Well said Fia.
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![Profile picture of Fia Naturie]()
Thank you, Vision;)
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![Profile picture of CasketSharpe]()
That flow and to the point understanding hit straight on
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![Profile picture of Fia Naturie]()
Thank you, CasketSharpe;))
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![Profile picture of Atticus Abbey]()
I love this one, Fia.
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![Profile picture of Fia Naturie]()
Thank you Atticus
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![Profile picture of Thomas W. Case]()
This is raw possession and feral confidence on the page—jealousy sharpened into language instead of apology.
It’s confrontational without flinching, and the voice knows exactly how far to lean into menace before it becomes theater.-
![Profile picture of Fia Naturie]()
Thank you, Thomas
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![Profile picture of Adelphina]()
I’m digging the attitude and confidence. Telling it like it is in your own sense of style.
Back off my man! This is fun to read and had a swag urban feel to it.
Loved it !-
![Profile picture of Fia Naturie]()
Haha Thank you. I guess I was really feeling this piece
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![Profile picture of Tim]()
That’s tellen her. When Fia lays down the law, watch out! lol Nice one. 🙂
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![Profile picture of Fia Naturie]()
Well, thank you, Tim.
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![Profile picture of Wally]()
“There’s something that comes with age and time” there is something about this line that speaks with stoicism and control which also lets a little leeway to catch a case.
I loved the underlying theme, she may try tempt him but you have his heart.
Great work-
![Profile picture of Fia Naturie]()
Thank you, Wally;))
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![Profile picture of Styxian]()
This is a subtle warning huh. LOL.
You make it seem “nice” because it rhymes. But so does “sharp” and “harp” -which is what they will be playing when you finish them off. LOL.
Great little ditty, with some real smoke!-
![Profile picture of Fia Naturie]()
Thank you, Styxian;)) Not so subtle I guess
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![Profile picture of twofiftythree]()
twofiftythree wrote a new post
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Read MoreI would kill for youI would die for youI would drag the world behind meby its throatfeel it kick and tearand finally go quietjust to lay it at your feetand ask if it’s enough I’d rip apart the ones who...
10 Comments-
![Profile picture of Fia Naturie]()
Beautifully written and heartfelt. Gives dark knight vibes
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![Profile picture of twofiftythree]()
thank you
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![Profile picture of Backdeckbenny (Peter)]()
Terrific write even though I find love to be more whimsical and fleeting,less obsessive.
Lots of things to like about this piece.
Keep up the good work.
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![Profile picture of twofiftythree]()
we all view love little differently. appreciate it
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![Profile picture of Atticus Abbey]()
Well done.
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![Profile picture of twofiftythree]()
thank you
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![Profile picture of Damian DeadLove]()
Powerfully penned, 253. Amazing write my friend. Appreciate you.
Damian
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![Profile picture of twofiftythree]()
thanks Damian
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![Profile picture of Eyes of a hidden woman]()
Loveliest read..
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![Profile picture of twofiftythree]()
appreciate it
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![Profile picture of twofiftythree]()
twofiftythree joined the group
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Intense the imagery of falling but it is internally.