his hand movedshiftin thru unanswered prayersbad luckand family curses settin asidealmost loversa handful of nearly theresand the namesof unprotected children diggin deep into the backbehind violenceand fearbeneath broken promises and shame til his hand closed rounda bad temperblood stained pianoand a hand me down addiction and somehowhe decidedthat was enoughto make a man 1

my feetdidn’t reach the floorbut small handsfit perfectly on ivoryshakinblack lacquershininunder lamplightand deep inside methat tired childfull of heavy nightshe couldn’t understandfelt the notes turn warmunder my fingersand suddenlya piece of my heartsounded less alone 3

i dig with both handsmud swallowinmy wrists and forearmspullin downwardthe weight of the earthdraggin against my shoulders roots knot round my fingersknuckles cracked open by rocksdirt packed under my nailsrainwater runnin browndown my throatslippin deeperand the holekeeps begginto become my grave the deeper i digthe more the earth moves thru memud risin in my throatcold […]

tongues tangledteeth tuggin at skinthe tv throwinthat tired blue lighttowards your face there’s tendernessthru the tension of itthe terrible truththat I could takethis momenttoo far inside me turn it into somethintraced thru my fingers twistin it into panicthat three years from nowthe bed could turn coldtouch could turnto thoughtless habit tho this mornintangled sheets twisted […]

all of my fires start a little messyone man sayin fuck itquiet enoughthat it gives god permissionto pretend he didn’t hear it lightin my world upwith bad decisionsand shakin handsholdin a match between my teethwhile gasoline drips from my lips my name turns black curlin at the edgesand everythin I was tryin not to becomesteps […]