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beneath the sustain

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I measure my days
in time signatures
count sobriety
in whole rests

where the damper pedal is god
and I
its humble servant

my foot pressed into mercy
beggin every fractured chord
please
hold on
don’t leave me
til I remember how to breathe

one bar
four bars
sixteen
thirty two
sixty four

til the urge
slips from fortissimo
to mezzo piano
to pianissimo
a ghost note
hauntin the shadows
of the bass clef

one twenty eight
two fifty six
five twelve
I stop countin
it keeps perfect time
knowin music
can’t drown it forever

beauty
always
exhausts
itself

the bottle
stops bein a bottle
and becomes
the final resolution

I can fix this

LIAR

I can quiet him

LIAR

i can give you
back to yourself

LIAR

i can make you forget

LIAR

I am the answer
I am the way to rest
I am the silence
I am your last chord
I am god

LIAR LIAR LIAR LIAR LIAR

so i lean harder
into mercy
til my foot
starts tremblin
the strings
grow thin
and the room
empties itself
into the sustain

please
just…
one more breath
one more ring

don’t leave me alone
with the silence

I know
the moment
it finally lets go
that ghost note
will still be there
from somewhere
beneath the bass clef
already
clearin its throat

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