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twofiftythree wrote a new post
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Read MoreI stumble thru a world that’s bent slightly outa focusas if it were half dreamhalf burnheat risin off my skin in waveslike quiet embers tryinto decide if I’m worth ignitin every breath feels wrongevery step lands heavygravity clawin up my...
8 Comments-
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![Profile picture of twofiftythree]()
much appreciated Damian
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![Profile picture of Willow]()
“proof that anythin divine
never leaves
without takin somethin with it”Shit that hits hard with fact
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![Profile picture of twofiftythree]()
yep. it’s the damn truth
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![Profile picture of RICHARD "Rascal" JENKINS]()
Sheer brilliance, Syr 253👌
You’ve mastered the heartbeat techniques of Free Verse poetry: Imagery, deeply gripping emotion, metaphor, seamless enjambment, syntax; and, except for the distraction of missing “g’s”, your diction and spellbinding flow would be irresistibly captivating to the senses.
“my knees crack
my heart misfires
and my body folds inward
as the light drains out
leavin a thin line of heat
hidin under my ribs
proof that anythin divine
never leaves
without takin somethin with it”Phew, Poet! Now, that’s how a pen’s supposed to dance….
Perfect title, too.Good stuff, I’ve said enough … except, a grateful “Thanks!” ⁓ Richard🖌
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![Profile picture of twofiftythree]()
much appreciated. glad ya liked the title. I was bouncin back and forth between two.
won’t be addin the Gs in tho. I understand why it’s asked of me but…let’s call it my “poetic voice”. it’s how I speak. it’s not carelessness…it’s cadence. it’s rhythm. it’s intentionally informal. keeps my poetry movin. walking feels like a chore…performin a task. walkin feels like motion. and I get where you’re comin from. it’s sloppy. it’s unpolished. looks lazy as fuck. but that’s the point. it’s meant to move. it’s meant to feel lived in. meant to read like it’s spillin out faster than you can take a breath. it’s meant to trip and scrape and bleed. it’s meant to be messy and alive. it’s meant to be human. it’s meant to be me.
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![Profile picture of RICHARD "Rascal" JENKINS]()
Well,
I think you might be able to imagine how us English Lit Grads/Poetry Teacher types are in our heads, eh?
Anally blessed (or, cursed) … LOL!Sincerely, I love your uniquely original brand of 253 poetry. 👍
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![Profile picture of twofiftythree]()
lol yes…completely understandable. I consider myself a bit of a non practicin intellectual
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![Profile picture of twofiftythree]()
twofiftythree posted in the group ”BACK TO POETRY BASICS”
for sake of the lesson I added punctuation…don’t get attached.
gravity slip
I stumble thru a world
that’s bent slightly outa focus
as if it were half dream,
half burn.
heat risin off my skin in waves
like quiet embers tryin
to decide if I’m worth ignitin.every breath feels wrong,
every step lands heavy,
gravity clawin up my s…Read More![Profile Photo]()
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1 Comment-
![Profile picture of RICHARD "Rascal" JENKINS]()
Sheer brilliance, Syr 253
You’ve mastered the heatbeat techniques of Free Verse poetry: Imagery, deeply gripping emotion, metaphor, spot-on line-breaks, seamless enjambment, syntax; and, except for the distraction of missing “g’s”, your diction and spellbinding flow would be irresistibly captivating to the senses.
Also, your well-placed…Read More
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![Profile picture of twofiftythree]()
twofiftythree wrote a new post
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Read Morealone with myself againwalls twitchin like they’re breathinevery sound feels like a threateven silence feels personal skin too aware of bein skinnerves turned inside outeyes trackin shadowsheart kickin at the quietwaitin for a fight my head won’t shut upthoughts crawlin over...
2 Comments-
![Profile picture of Crimsin]()
there are times I identify with these feelings great write ❤️
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![Profile picture of Damian DeadLove]()
Powerfully penned, 253. Excellent write my friend, I can relate. Appreciate you.
Damian
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![Profile picture of Fia Naturie]()
Eerie. She has staked her claim she was not ready to take you. Cat playing with the mouse. Very good
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![Profile picture of Damian DeadLove]()
Powerfully penned, 253. Excellent write my friend. Appreciate you.
Damian
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![Profile picture of Willow]()
That was a royal tease in action there, that was. I felt that pull under and sudden release of not being released. Incredibly articulated
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![Profile picture of Styxian]()
This is awesome. I say that frequnetly about your writes, because it’s true. Your “visions” come through within your writing skills. We can feel the impact.
Good stuff.
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![Profile picture of twofiftythree]()
twofiftythree posted in the group ”BACK TO POETRY BASICS”
ok…not a fan of haikus apparently. they’re harder than I thought. wrote a whole bunch wrong and had to start again. then my favorite involved a pond. I saw SeaCat’s and thought damnit…let’s not both write ponds. ultimately I realized I’d rather write a thousand sonnets than a single haiku. but I definitely learned somethin.
clouds file past t…Read More
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![Profile picture of RICHARD "Rascal" JENKINS]()
LOL!
Two ponds would be just fine, but I’m quite chuffed with this one, myself!
Now, that’s a splendid Haiku, 253.
Ditch “the” and replace it with something meaningful, like “gold moon” or some such and it’ll sparkle on the page
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“my hands return first
those traitor creators of sound
those makers of chords and noise
now tremblin like loose strings”
Powerfully penned, 253. Excellent write with killer imagery my friend. Loved the lines above, and that ending verse drove it home. Nicely done. Appreciate you.
Damian