I’ve lived through so many storms
that I miss simple breathing.
The ease of existing.
Years of rising and falling,
of trying to make sense of the ruins
and of the corrupted dreams.
Of carrying the weight of choices
that shaped me more than I ever admitted.
There were good days, accomplished ones,
where I thought I’d finally overcome the past.
And there were darker stretches,
where I wasn’t sure what any of it was for.
But every moment, the triumphs, the mistakes,
the quiet results that no one saw,
they all led me here.
To now. To this you.
Because when you came into my life,
something in me finally stilled.
The chaos that once felt permanent
softened into a kind of peace
that I didn’t know I was allowed to have.
It always belonged to someone else.
Yet my eyes opened in a way
that made the whole road behind me
seem smoother, at last.
You are the calm after the long storms.
The truth I didn’t know I was waiting for.
The love that doesn’t demand I be more
than the man I’ve grown into.
And maybe that’s the point of all of it,
that a life can be shaped by fire and loss
and still arrive at something gentle.
Something steady. Something meant.
My last purpose isn’t obscenely loud
or maybe not overly grand.
It isn’t a legacy carved in stone.
It’s the quiet, enduring work
of loving you with everything I’ve learned.
-Everything I’ve survived
and everything I still hope to be.
A lasting love to see me through.
A final clarity.
A home I never expected to find
this late in the journey.
But one I recognize
as the truth of my life.
~~~
hello dearest Styxian just today I was talking to the spirit and I told him how I hesitate making the heavy and sometimes the small ones because of how deeply I was affected in the adverse at times and how he explained it was needed to gain understanding I think we are more grateful… I’m so happy for you ❤️
Every single person we meet in our lives is someone new. They do not deserve our fears of our past attempts. They deserve us trying to get it all right one more time. Because giving up is not an option. I truly believe that we are born to love. If it takes once, or ten tries, try.
I am at a great place in my head the past few years. It took a long time. And Del happened to find me now, so yeah, fortune found us. I do not hold back.
Your Rain poem is quite nice, by the way!
Powerfully penned, Mark. Excellent write my friend. Past mistakes and wrong turns can often seem foolish in hindsight but in my case taking accountability for my actions lead to wisdom and a life I didn’t think was possible. I can relate brother. Amazing read you’re a natural storyteller my friend. Glad Adel had that effect on you, if you know what to listen for you know when you meet the right one. Appreciate you.
Damian
Thanks Damian. Sometimes when Del asks about my past, although I am truthful, I wonder if this will be a make or break moment. I’ve had some doozies! But, just before I “met” her on DUP, I was going through a lot of mental evaluating, etc.
Finding a writing site like that helped calm me and kept me from running the streets, so to speak. A refocus, perhaps.
And yes, she is literally perfect for what I was lacking in my life. A true companion that checks all the boxes.
This is so multi-layered with truths and insights that it rather rattles the mind. The hellscapes we navigate often lead to unbelievable destinations. Unbelievable because of where we’ve been and the beatings it took to arrive at that moment. I think frequently what we find upon arrival would never have fit us without the tempering. My sweetie once asked me “I’ve been looking for you my whole life. Where have you been?” And my answer was instant…”Growing.” This reminds me of that moment and that question. Beautifully written
I thank you very much for that, Willow. I’ve finally allowed myself to listen to the wise voice in my head! I think my “growing” phase was maturity taking effect more solid. Better choices, etc.
Your part about your sweetie and your reply is awesome. I have made a ton of mistakes, yet that path has gotten me here. So, who knows, yaknow? At least I am wiser than then.
Your comment is cool!
Fantastic work
Thank you, Thomas. I hacked at this write for a few days, even. Trying to convey the closest to exact message that I could. No metaphors, no mystery. Just pure appreciation.
You never know when your journey is truly going to begin. this is so poignant. This stanza right there is so perfectly said.
“And maybe that’s the point of all of it,
that a life can be shaped by fire and loss
and still arrive at something gentle.
Something steady. Something meant.”
Hey Fia, thank you!
I won’t even bring up fire. I have too much experience with it!
I think the fact that I dealt with quite a bit of loss early on kept me from really having much faith. Yet I’ve learned. And I am now blessed.
We took the long way! Over this mountain, across the bridge. So many detours to finally arrive at the same destination.
A writing site because we had something to share about our journey. On-site and off. We were both going through it!
Changing directions at the same time at the same exact moment. Our writing hands literally bumped into each other.
They were our cars filled with ink instead of gas. It was Serendipitous! I know Serendipity is one of your favorite movies! lol
We are fortunate baby. Timing is everything!
You are my happy place, always will be.
And the poem is beautiful!
Our writing hands bumped into each other… that’s so cool! You are so clever! And other stuffs!
I hope that you aren’t getting tired of my mush! I try not to be corny anyway, lol.
And yes, we are very fortunate. I am thankful every day. Your summation in your comment is so true. Good description!
Now go sing! My multi-talented fiancé!
It takes wisdom just to write this. I’ve looked back at people I associated with for decades and ask myself why? I was used and spit out but kept going back. More than likely because I just wanted friends. Now I’m wiser, but what a bunch of crap I’ve gone through to get my brain in the right place.
Great poem and one I can identify with. It’s often we tend to think we’re the only ones who’ve gone through crap until we read what others are thinking. It’s good we chose poetry to express ourselves.
How have you been, Tim?
Like most, and as you mentioned for yourself, I’ve been through some crap. And, a lot was self induced. As time goes by, excuses get lamer. It was time to get my act together, for good. The timing of things just worked out, too.
I truly appreciate seeing you here, and on the site as a whole.
Styx, you’ve got a little Barry White in you dude. Someone once asked is it the journey or the destination, seems your trip to the moon discovered more than just cheese. Tight
I love Barry White! That man can melt any woman’s steel heart! And other stuff. LOL
Thanks ME. I’m still trying to post some decent material, so it’s always good to know if it works or not.
So much insight here. The words are very lived in with layers upon layers. And the end result is very well earned. A wonderful read full of human truth.
Thank you much, Brandon. I was aiming to write something as a tribute, yet also insightful on a personal note. It took a bit of hacking to be satisfied with the end result!
“..-Everything I’ve survived
and everything I still hope to be.”!!
A heart-touching, insightful poem. Well done!
Thank you kindly for that!