Thank you for sharing this. A very direct and insightful poem, I really appreciate the “whipping” euphemism for rent. Hit the nail on the head!

Over pay is right. You exemplify that very well in this piece.
Cheers- Brad

Oh my goodness, I really like how intense that reading is. I agree that the rent is too high

hello dearest James I know the feeling this is wonderful I feel the pain of it ❤️

I enjoyed how this came full circle.
It started with an irritating bumpy grocery car wheel then at the end he didn’t care about his dented rim.
It’s symbolic because it shows movement your write. How your day can start out mundane but end on a high note.
I enjoyed the read:)

Thank you so much. I’m glad you enjoyed it.

I go through the same dilemma with the shopping carts, Sam. I always get the one that feels like there’s an earthquake commencing. How funny! I loved how you allowed your reader to follow through your excursion from aisle to aisle, frozen foods and pink toenails. What a gem. Much enjoyed…and I love this photo of you, too!

Thank you, Kelly. There are the ones that won’t steer straight, also. I tell my single 34 year-old son to spend more time at the grocery store.

I’m big on the closing lines of a poem. What an impact they make. It’s the impression your reader walks away with, that stays in your head like a song you can’t shake. The lost loves and the unrequited loves are always on my hit list. You nailed this one, Damian…so good!

This was hidden? Man, this was screaming to be let out. “No winners because the race was fixed.” Yup.
This is a great piece, cuz

The last stanza is a real ass kicker! The rhyme scheme is cool too. It’s obvious that you care about your results. It shows in your craftings. This is thought provoking, but not heavy. Well done Damian.

I too enjoyed the rhyme scheme. Everyone can relate to this. We’ve all been there.
When you both know it was over a few months back!
Great write amigo!

wow dearest Damian so much power and passion in this I am floored ❤️great write…

Now aint that the truth so bloomin well poemed .. Say it like it is why don’tcha eh .. Great ink Damian & subsequently awarded Nev’s dubble 👍👍

This is dark, deep, and brilliant, Damian. I’m glad you dug it out of the vault! The honesty in this poem is cutting, and the final lines–“instead of owning we rented / while love got strangled” –are a phenomenal, memorable finish. A wicked good read.

“another moment dies”

That’s the thing people lose sight of. Once the moment is gone…it’s gone. What we make of it bears a lot of weight. I’d rather carry honest weight than the baggage of pretense. I’m glad you found this one. It needed to breathe, my friend

Damian, great rhyme and flow while delivering a strong message.
Excellent work sir.

Hard hitting piece. So true my friend. kick-ass write Damian.