NAVINA

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RICHARD "Rascal" JENKINS
6 months ago

Okay, Fia 👌 Thanks for your submission and participation. You’ve made a very good start, with the basic format of a Sonnet down pat … 3 Quatrains and a Rhyming Couplet, and your rhyme-scheme is spot-on. In particular, your topic is interesting, with emotion depth, strong metaphorical imagery, and captivating ambiance that sets the mood. With a b…Read More
- Fia Naturie
  6 months ago
  
  Thank you

Sam Nash
6 months ago

They are usually the reason we ever learned what longing means.. and the reason we write about it… beautiful
- RPM
  6 months ago
  
  Thank you p, Sam. Grateful for your comments.
Tim
6 months ago

This is so excellent. I’m really glad I read it, thanks for posting.

This particular stanza didn’t read smooth. If I may suggest…

That towel, is drawn tight
to guard her beauty.
His hands still remember
the soft curve shapes of her lovely breasts,
the gentle hollow where shadows meet.

Great writing.
- RPM
  6 months ago
  
  Thanks for reading, and for your thoughtful analysis,Tim. I appreciate your constructive criticism very much.
  - Tim
    6 months ago
    
    My pleasure. 🙂 Awesome poem.
Neville
5 months, 3 weeks ago

Incredible ink .. and so perfectly spilled ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐👍
- RPM
  5 months, 2 weeks ago
  
  Thanks, Nev!

Crimsin
6 months ago

hello dearest Benny my pain is just too great to live any other way I’ve really honestly tried more than once and I will never willingly put myself through that again… this is powerful if you have a better way to cope I am happy for you my friend ❤️
- Backdeckbenny (Peter)
  6 months ago
  
  The root cause of all suffering is thinking.That’s where the answer lies.
  I coped by reading as much as I could about depression, grief,the way our minds work and trick is.The best material,without sounding religious,was in Buddhism.
  Happy to share some authors with you if you’re interested.
  🙏🙏🙏🙏
Visions_of_Insanity
6 months ago

Intelligent poem here dude. Well said and well executed.
Thomas W. Case
6 months ago

Brilliant work.

Daniel Long
6 months ago

Thanks. It’s a wonder publishers nor agents are getting back to me to publish my work. Read your piece: Brutal. Very deep and kept me hooked.

Daniel
Drieks
6 months ago

Beautiful Daniel. Love the flow and wordplay in this!

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