Hey Sam.
Loved the structure of this. The poem is great but there was movement too.
I love those kind of writes.
I like how you transitioned to questions towards the end.

Spectacularly done amigo!

Powerfully penned, Sam. Excellent write with amazing storytelling my friend. Nicely done. Appreciate you.

Damian

Very good ink

Bat

This is a very powerful piece, Kay, but I would ask you not to use capital letters at the start of a line that is a continuation of the preceding line; it makes the reader stop unsure if this is part of the line above or a new thought. And use punctuation wisely, as a tool to guide the reader when needed. The better the flow, the more enjoyable is the read. This piece is very good as it is, and you need not change a thing; but try my suggestions and see how it feels.

I wonder: are you actually addressing another person — or yourself? It seems to me you are bucking up your own courage, but I could be wrong. It works either way. Nice work, my friend.
FD

Thank you, Flatdaddy. I wholeheartedly agree with you. and I am speaking to myself (older me to younger me(

I feel you on this lovely Fia I used to clam up like that when my kooky thoughts would come but I can’t hold them anymore…be yourself lady we will love you ❤️

Powerfully penned, Fia. Excellent write my friend. It feels like inner dialogue to me, you and your subconscious kinda vibe. Nicely done as always. I can relate.. Appreciate you, Cuz.

Damian

These conversations with self are some of the best. I enjoyed the way this one wove the reader into it

This is excellent. It had some rhyme and rhythm.
Nothing felt forced at all.
Great stream of consciousness amiga:)

Sometimes its necessary to pause, reflect and take inventory. I like the honesty because we do tend to lose sight for a while until we become more aware of ourselves.
Nicely done.