I’m big on the closing lines of a poem. What an impact they make. It’s the impression your reader walks away with, that stays in your head like a song you can’t shake. The lost loves and the unrequited loves are always on my hit list. You nailed this one, Damian…so good!

This was hidden? Man, this was screaming to be let out. “No winners because the race was fixed.” Yup.
This is a great piece, cuz

The last stanza is a real ass kicker! The rhyme scheme is cool too. It’s obvious that you care about your results. It shows in your craftings. This is thought provoking, but not heavy. Well done Damian.

I too enjoyed the rhyme scheme. Everyone can relate to this. We’ve all been there.
When you both know it was over a few months back!
Great write amigo!

wow dearest Damian so much power and passion in this I am floored ❤️great write…

Now aint that the truth so bloomin well poemed .. Say it like it is why don’tcha eh .. Great ink Damian & subsequently awarded Nev’s dubble 👍👍

This is dark, deep, and brilliant, Damian. I’m glad you dug it out of the vault! The honesty in this poem is cutting, and the final lines–“instead of owning we rented / while love got strangled” –are a phenomenal, memorable finish. A wicked good read.

“another moment dies”

That’s the thing people lose sight of. Once the moment is gone…it’s gone. What we make of it bears a lot of weight. I’d rather carry honest weight than the baggage of pretense. I’m glad you found this one. It needed to breathe, my friend

Damian, great rhyme and flow while delivering a strong message.
Excellent work sir.

Hard hitting piece. So true my friend. kick-ass write Damian.

Powerfully penned, Fia. Into the book it belongs! Excellent write my friend, I felt the sting of your words. Appreciate you, cuz.

Damian

We do what we must. Well, the good ones do! Like you.
Speak your words, Fia. Take a bow and some praise. It ain’t easy out there. Luckily you’ve discovered the therapy of ceative writing. It DOES help. It can save souls, if we trust ourselves to focus on hope.
Wonderful, uplifting write my dear.

Man. I can relate to this. Not just myself but with my friends and family.
There is no telling where I’d be without my mom. She is my rock.
So empowering!! Thank you for posting !!

The kids are everything. And if they’re not…something ain’t right. Felt this one in my maternal DNA.

Whatever it takes!

Life can be cruel and unfair, so I thank God for mothers like this. It is my great hope that their sacrifices will be rewarded–if not in this life, then the next.

Life is a fight. You have invoked a great feeling of grit and determination.
Regards James

I felt this deep in my marrow. Your dedication to those children renewed my faith in humankind. The struggle to keep your children fed and housed moved my heart deeply. This is truly one of your very best poems. It speaks to me of a mother’s love and her oh so protective spirit t keep her children safe, healthy, and well. This is much more than a poem it is a living breathing testament to a mother’s love. I loved this so much.

John

Delightful piece and a lovely memory for you.

This is a bit dreamy. I like how you reminisce.

A truly mesmerizing encounter you paint so exquisitely. I really love the composition here and your imagery is sensual magic. Erotica at its finest.

John

Please
on my head
or anywhere

Oh!!? I’d love to make several suggestions. Not just a wish, but a vivid day/night dream. I think you are very powerful dear.

You made my day dear. Poetry is my life and being percepted in a good way causes an erupting volcano in me. Take care.

Wise words.

Powerfully penned, Drieks. Into the book it belongs! Excellent lyrics my friend, your work is so authentic and direct. I’m truly a fan, good musical choice as well. The piano added the proper element to your words. Nicely done per usual. Appreciate you.

Damian

I love a good piano song. This feels very intimate and un-rushed.
It has a great tempo too. There are not a lot of distractions either. Just a voice and a piano.
Just wonderful:)

Adelphina was raving about this to me earlier, so I had to check it out. And it’s really good! Not syrupy or overdone. It’s catchy and very entertaining. Awesome job with it.

Drieks, I smiled the whole way through listening to this. This was sad but catchy.

I man…damn. This is incredibly well done!

Thank you so much for your kind words!
If only it was my own voice… Can’t take credit for that.

❤️

We’ve kept up wit your musical success through mutual friends, and we’re truly happy for you. You’re not only creating great poetry but also great songs. Tight

Great song. I loved the piano and the strength of the vocals. Well done!

Wow. Just wow! Another incredible piece. You are doing marvelous work, my friend. This is truly outstanding. Beautiful words, lovely music and all of it rendered with class. I am so glad that HER said I must talk to you. I would very much like to do that.