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![Profile picture of twofiftythree]()
twofiftythree posted in the group ”BACK TO POETRY BASICS”
ok…not a fan of haikus apparently. they’re harder than I thought. wrote a whole bunch wrong and had to start again. then my favorite involved a pond. I saw SeaCat’s and thought damnit…let’s not both write ponds. ultimately I realized I’d rather write a thousand sonnets than a single haiku. but I definitely learned somethin.
clouds file past t…Read More
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Crimsin wrote a new post
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Read Moremy mortality before me I prepare an offeringcataloging and willingly admitting my sinheld tight to the dark artist of my soul, there is conflictwith aspirations to the light I am betwixt two worldsand I can't reconcilemy spirit is shaded...
8 Comments-
![Profile picture of Damian DeadLove]()
Powerfully penned, Brenda. Excellent write my friend. Appreciate you.
Damian
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![Profile picture of Crimsin]()
hello dearest Damian thank you graciously I deeply appreciate your thoughts ❤️
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![Profile picture of Duhsjaak]()
Hoi Chère C.,
If I may quote you:
in my slumberous state I cause chaosDon’t we all?
I embrace the thought in real life.
There’s nothing more tedious or boring than perfection.So:
in my slumberous state I cause chaos
Is the cherry on the cake.
Just my opinion.À lovely write!
Kind regards, Gus-
![Profile picture of Crimsin]()
hello dearest Gus thank you I likef that line too…I cherish your thoughts you are always positibe and I appreciate that ❤️
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![Profile picture of Detritus]()
Fantastic spill, my friend! May Arawn hear your darksome call and be your lantern into Annwfn. Not just yet though, we need more of your beautiful melancholy. Excellent poem as always.
Clay
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![Profile picture of Crimsin]()
thank you dearest Clay for such a beautifully poetic comment you are appreciated ❤️
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![Profile picture of redzone]()
There is NO SIN in being a woman, none. If there is SIN, it is brought about by the burdens placed on women in a male dominated, patriarchal system and society. It’s a strange evolutionary process that a biological difference (having babies) became the source of oppression.
While I applaud the artistic value of this poem, its sadness, its flow, and metaphor, I am also torn in that there should be no sacrifice made. Instead, there should be a head held high acceptance of the chaos, of celebrating joining the chaos made by all of us as human beings, and we are a chaotic bunch.
Crimsin, I hope I have not trampled all over your poem’s garden, it’s just that women are not evil or gods, just human. And certainly not for sacrifice.
Curt
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![Profile picture of Crimsin]()
hello dearest Curt good afternoon I get what you’re saying but my sin is more memories and reflection on days passed things I have done and regret I try to reconile them in me but they stilll make sad they are coming more ofteh these days and I’m not doing well it seems my soul is aware that my time grows short… I deeply appreciate your beautiful comment ❤️
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![Profile picture of Amethyste]()
Amethyste wrote a new post
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Read MoreStaying under water.I had grown that natural attachment.Any time in the surface.I naturally made my way underneath.It felt better to my skin.
2 Comments-
![Profile picture of Jim Musics]()
Oh my A. you create such wondrous word worlds.
I can only imagine how lovey you look under water. 🙏💚-
![Profile picture of Amethyste]()
Thank you. 🙂
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![Profile picture of Backdeckbenny (Peter)]()
Backdeckbenny (Peter) wrote a new post
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Read MoreI died a little yesterday or felt a little deadBut today I'm feeling better It was only in my head.************************Yesterdaysomething in me pressed pause.A heavinessperhaps a tiny death,or maybe justthe absence of myself.I tried to move,but each gesturefelt laboured and opaque like...
5 Comments-
![Profile picture of Crimsin]()
I really like this dearest Benny great photo too ❤️
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![Profile picture of Backdeckbenny (Peter)]()
Thank you for reading and enjoying.💋
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![Profile picture of Willow]()
The mind is a trip… I much enjoyed this one
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![Profile picture of Backdeckbenny (Peter)]()
The mind is a trap indeed and one that ensnares me from time to time.
Thanks for reading.🙏
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![Profile picture of Damian DeadLove]()
Powerfully penned, Peter. Another excellent write my friend. The mind is full dusty corners, nooks, and crannies where secrets often hide. Nicely done. Appreciate you.
Damian
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![Profile picture of Thomas W. Case]()
Thomas W. Case wrote a new post
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Read MoreA long timeagowhen I wasa teenager,I had awonderful,tender-heartedgirlfriend.She was patient.I was wideawake, and greenas a frog.She said,don't rub it sohard, you willhurt it.Think of it asa new toy youdiscovered.It's small, andyou need to becareful.It isn't apimple thatyou aretrying to...
7 Comments-
![Profile picture of I_IS_ ME]()
That button is crazy cool, sometimes to abuse is to show attention or to neglect is to show attention. Tight one dude
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![Profile picture of Thomas W. Case]()
Thank you, my friend.
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![Profile picture of Damian DeadLove]()
Brilliantly penned, Thomas. Excellent write my friend. One must master the secrets of the Love Button.. Appreciate you.
Damian
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![Profile picture of Thomas W. Case]()
Lol. Thanks.
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![Profile picture of Neville]()
You just nailed it .. Poetry that is .. not her you know what sir .. 😎👍
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![Profile picture of Thomas W. Case]()
Thank you, my friend.
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![Profile picture of Willow]()
Despite my blush, I loved this! It’s a delicate balance, that.
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LOL!
Two ponds would be just fine, but I’m quite chuffed with this one, myself!
Now, that’s a splendid Haiku, 253.
Ditch “the” and replace it with something meaningful, like “gold moon” or some such and it’ll sparkle on the page