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Well, that’s a damned nice deconstructive review, Richard, but I confess I’m at a loss as to your V6-L problem; I fail to see it. As I said earlier, I have absolutely no formal training. Never took a class in poetry; highschool English Lit was the closest I got to that. Everything else is self taught. I didn’t start writing til I was in my twenties, and that was all performance work, more geared to my dramatic training. I never thought about writing poetry on a serious level until about 2o years ago; took a 20 year hiatus from life in general when I was injured. Didn’t write so much as a dirty limerick during that time, and finally wanted to see what I could do on a serious level about ten years ago, and even then my concentration was on entertainment. Stuff like, Omniumgatherum, to stretch my head and entertain. So, can you explain in more non-technical terms? I would appreciate it greatly.
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An excellently rendered work, Syr! 🎖️
Well struck in grammar, vivid imagery and emotional timbre, metaphoric fancies, and all around palpable appeal … left me with an eerie sensation, which I suspect, is part of your intent.
The rhyme scheme is both entertaining, original, and would be creatively challenging to the average poet, I think. The seven-count lines in Quadra-Verse are also quite unique, as it’s rare (if ever) I’ve read this exact format.
The endline/three-syllables-in rhyme scheme flows nicely, too … I like it very much and may give it a go!
NitPick: Check the four syllables in on V6-L, the only rhyme that tripped me.
Thank you, Syr Poet, most humbly and gratefully for the gracious invite! ⁓ Richard🖌