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Backdeckbenny (Peter)Offline

    • 💋

      Even though this days been shitthe night brings quiet comfort to a very strained and tired mindIn the hush, I will find myself again.So will you.Sweet Dreams.🙏

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    • She Has Chosen the Date

      She's not getting married.She's not getting engaged.She's not travelling, thoughShe is going away..... forever.My friend has chosen the date for her death.Her assisted death.28th September 2025.I've been invited to attend.A privilege indeed.She has battled cancer and alltherapies have now...

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      • You made me tear up! I don’t know if I could be that brave. I just finished chemo myself. Breast cancer caught early. Lumpectomy. Radiation. That’s why I stopped writing at DUP the last couple months it was there. Just wrote for the first time a week ago and came here. I also fell in love for awhile. Nice guy. Great dog. Held me and went through stuff with me. I couldn’t take the “Are you ok?” even one more time. He was comfortable to be with. A week after my last chemo we stayed at his friend’s cottage. I realized that I was the only thing he had in life. And he focused it on me. I couldn’t be all that. He needs more than just existing. He had 4 good years in the 1990’s but the rest of his life has been being numb. His relationships were all female dominated. His mother and his ex-wife pushing him around. Even his sister who openly hates him. I hated to hurt him but he needs more. I need more. As nice as he was and is – it wasn’t enough for either of us. If my time is limited, I need more than hugs, a smile and “please pass the canned beans”. Writing this comment 2 days after the breakup has inspired a new poem. If I have energy, maybe a post for tomorrow. I did my three today.

      • Thanks Paula for your thoughtful comment.Im no expert in affairs of the heart but my experience in a long term relationship is that space is necessary.
        If someone loves you ‘because they need you’….it ain’t love.
        You’ve done the best thing for both of you

    • We Sit

      We sitin comfortand ponderabout almost anything.Like we are right now.In another placea place that makes hell look appealingthey lie in abject anonymity,barely existing.There is no time for navel-gazingwhen all there is to eat is rubble.It seems the Almightydoesn't know...

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      • If God has a reason I would imagine it would be to teach us love and to help. It’s on us but we let them down. That’s one reason the thought of billionaires sicken me. They could help but most either don’t or just do enough for a tax write off.

        Great ink

    • Depression Time Line

      Loves out of order.Imagined fear/terror.Necessary mental response.Collapse of reason and logic.Rise of despair.Sense of hopelessness.What is sleep?Mind always whirring.Suicidal ideation.Nothing but suffering.A smile from a stranger.A speck of light.A lovely thought.Black turns to grey.Grey turns to beige.Some reason returns.The...

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    • Dream Weaver v2

      We sat in the dark, the universe wide and quiet. I said I was nothing. A speck. You said you were the same. Not special, not apart, just drifting. One thing, not two. Consciousness, pure and whole, no edges. The...

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