Depends What Matters…

I don’t know if it’s a society thing…
or what
but this standard that directs us to follow a specified path
you meet…you marry…pop out a few kids
never forgetting the coveted white picket fence

I have a question…
what if that pattern…
isn’t really one size fits all…

I think of all the miserable marriages haphazardly holding it together
barb-wire bonds and razor-blade tongues
pretty smiling face facades
hiding truth’s bloodied walls
…due exclusively to expectations

how much better would it be
to simply let the individual
determine their own best interests…?

maybe love isn’t about others…
…but learning your best self
…doing what actually fits you best
so you don’t inadvertently savage someone else

if it fits and feels natural…
that’s fabulous
but if it doesn’t…
maybe step away from pretense
don’t follow the dots predetermined
landing at somebody else’s idea of perfect
find your own destination

doesn’t that sound better
than trying to walk someone else’s road?
instead…finding your own
avoiding the hypocrisy
all the screaming and scheming
cheating behind the scenes
pretending it’s all good
when it clearly isn’t

we’re not all meant to be spouses
…or parents
as evidenced by child abuse
and domestic violence statistics
(maybe she never desired to be a mother
or he had no interest in being a husband
…it was the kids who bore the brunt of their resentment)

I’m at a point in life where I know what I want
and recognize it may not match my needs
but the decisions guiding my actions
…are entirely up to me
and I’m anything but traditional at my soul’s base
I won’t accept any pre-assigned gate
as the only final destination

if both parties aren’t equally invested
…on the same page
it’s simply time wasted

I know I’ve got a long ways to grow
but I believe I’m worth the investment…
how beautiful it could be…
to cheer each other on as we go
celebrate each other’s personal victories
overcoming another obstacle…
on our own individual journeys

because nobody on this planet is ever perfect
and it took me a long damn time to learn it
…the full value of my personal existence
doesn’t require anyone else’s physical presence
and if love is all we need…
…what’s so wrong with just learning
…to love me?