Gobsmacking good, Fia!

When you can take a form like this one you’ve never even seen before, observe a few easy details – then, with an earnest effort, turn it into such a creatively captivating poetic tale, makingi it seem effortless – now, that’s something to be proud of, because not everyone possesses this level of potential and/or natural acumen.

Love the title; it’s befitting the rather somber mood, your synactic flow gifts a smooth rhythm, even counts and almost spot-on rhymes makes for an enjoyably impressive read.

Techy stuff to consider:
1. Near rhyme sounds or words that don’t actually rhyme work in songs that get lost in musicical rhythm, but not when reading or reciting the exact preciseness of poetry:
L1, (bells and hell don’t rhyme) | V2-L1, (on and song don’t rhyme) | L5 & 6 ( tears and fear don’t rhyme).
Easy fix suggestions:

“Rings of a steel bell, beckons us to hell”

“Chiming bells haunt long, sing a restless song”

“Unrelenting, sorrowful tears”
Hearts stop still in shuttering fears” (a word add and simple change in syntax)

2. V1-L1, (bells beckon | bell beckons)

3. V3-L1, misspell: please = pleas

4. Elinimate as many meaningless “The” words as possible, replacing them with explessive/meaningful poetic words.

Here’s your Edited version:

~—·§·—~

“GUILLOTINE”

Peals of a steel bell, beckon us to hell
Dulled audience ignores “sliced” sound
Multiple bodies hitting ground

Chiming bells haunt long, sing a restless song
Unrelenting, sorrowful tears
Hearts stopped still in shuttering fears

Whispered pleas at dawn, hope is so far gone
Guillotine swinging in the sun
Eternal peace has just begun

Sheared heads roll freely, eyes cannot see me
One more heartbeat until its end
No one stayed, not even a friend

~—·§·—~

And, that final verse, chiils all over … sheesh!!!
Excellent effort, Fia … address those few issues or adopt the edit, and you’ve another virtual masterpiece!
Thank you,Fia, for so unselfichly sharing your passinate dedication to learning.

Gratefully! ⁓ Richard