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Generational Curses

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Summary:
This is part one of two. I will write out the words later. This is not rehearsed. How you hear it is how it came out. I used the word nigger once because it flowed.

I listened to a poem earlier today
How we are always battered and left
 for another guy to take
 because we went astray

 But what about the generational curses that we were taught
 that men aren’t shit, and they weren’t here to be fought
 they’re supposed to rescue us because we’re the damsels in distress
but I wasn’t taught that, let me digress

 I was taught that I’m supposed to be strong
 I’m supposed to hold it down
because y’all never stay around

you’re never going to come back after you plant your seed
and then come back every once or twice
 just to say, “ Yo that little man is me”

 No, that little man is me
 is what I’m teaching him
 because you weren’t around
 to show him how to be that him

 I’m not here to badger no man
that’s not my intent
when I’m here to say
is I take responsibility about what I did
 and left in my stent

 Back in the day
 I was that nigger
 I had men cry and bicker.
 who’s gonna be with me
 That’s what they would say
 because the lies that came out of their mouths
 couldn’t stay,

 No I didn’t pick you or you or you
because I had my time
 I can pick and choose
so the ones that I picked
 is the ones that I broke

So when they went to the next woman
a they took it out and they spoke

words of anger and words of hatred
yeah I put those words in there mouths
because I couldn’t take it

 I did not believe that I could be the one
 for them and make their apple bloom
on that tree because that one person
that one person that created that crack
 in the mirror that I look at
that person that looks at me back

He didn’t see what he caused
 or what transpired after that
one word that caused this fire
yeah

 I was the person who broke him, him, and him
 because the one that broke me
decided to go with that other tainted gem

 I am not a saint, nor am I the devil
I am the one that became unraveled
I was a nice spool
 a perfect one on the shelf
 until somebody pulled that thread
 and unraveled things that should have been dealt

I regret every tear that fell
when they wanted to stay
and I said go to hell

 now I’m left with little man you see
because it’s a punishment
 that was dealt to me

 He is that blessing
 that I won’t let be tainted
 He is that Angel
should have been sainted

 He was given to damaged soul
 to keep pure and pristine
 but my soul is tainted
 and I’m trying to be that queen

 I found somebody else
 that I allowed to beat me down
because you know what
goes around comes around

  Yeah

 There are men out there
 that use and abuse
 I didn’t do it to everyone
 I know who I did it to
 and I apologize to you

 you don’t have to take it
I understand that real well.
because as men are supposed to take responsibility
I’m a woman, and I can do it as well

 yeah

 No, no, no I was not that good
 but there was that one person
that made me who I am
and here I stand

    4
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    12 COMMENTS

    1. I imagine this was somewhat cathartic once you got it off your chest and out in the open .. You have a fine pen and a lovely voice by the way .. Neville 😎👍

    2. Fia, this is one of the best poems defining the realities of love gone wrong that I have read. Your introspection here is precisely articulate, emotionally honest to a tee, and powerful. This really spoke to me as a man. You really told it like it is with the sincerity of a genuine woman who has been through the wringer. Poetry that does more than engage the reader it made me think and feel deeply. And the spontaneity here is fabulous. Thank you so much for sharing this testament.

      John

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