I only meant to glance
to remind myself what was there
look long enough to see if it was still me
long enough to prove
I hadn’t vanished completely
but the water didn’t move
and neither did I
I stayed bent over the edge
til my knees screamed
til my neck burned under the sun
til the thing lookin back
felt more like me
than the body I’ve been draggin round
it’s not love
it’s memory
it’s the way an old bruise
still remembers the fist
it’s the needle waitin in the dark
for the vein to wander home
it’s the bottle hid in a cabinet
that still knows the shape of my mouth
it’s a voice that sounds like mine
tellin me I was built
for the failure
I lean closer
let the stone dig into my ribs
let my chest tighten
til every breath
feels like it’s been stolen on purpose
I reach for the reflection
even as it distorts
eyes goin flat
features bendin into a shape
I’ve seen in the man
who left his fingerprints on me
I don’t pull back
I never do
I push harder into the edge
force the water to take me
watch myself shatter into somethin
uglier
truer
me
I’m here for the collapse
for the moment I choose
the version of me that’s already drownin
over the one that might survive
and I keep leanin
Powerfully penned, Ambjr. Into the book it belongs! What an ending my friend, you keep leanin’, and delivering incredible writes. Excellent work. Appreciate you.
Damian
thank you
I logged in just to comment on THIS.
I saw myself in every damn line.
Fuckin A
really appreciate that Adira. glad it spoke to ya.
It did, 4 sure