there is a dismal weight of blood and bone
secured to the pain of it all
scheming flesh longs to esape and take my soul with it
leaking promises of reprieve
there is a misery one can drink
it intoxicates making one dizzy
distlled hurt so strong you'll do anything to esape it
a forlorn need deep inside
weeps in g minor
then screams in terror
an opera of the damned
razorblade love letters
and enough sleeping pills to sleep forever
calling me to the edge
the great abyss inviting
my soul shivers it's much too cold yet
the flesh shutters to be stuck with me
a conscience deeply imbued with guilt
purgatory will have to wait
my heart vows I will not go out that way
not intentionally anyway always sideways
Rated for ADULT(18+) 
sideways
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Summary:
sadness, addiction
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Post / Chapter Author
Powerfully penned, Brenda. Your words hit with the might of a sledgehammer my friend. Excellent write. Appreciate you.
Damian
hello dearest Damian thank you graciously for the love here it’s felt deeply ❤️
Hi,
A sincere love never threatens nor gives blows and neither hurts anyone, A love just loves, and other than that if it is doing something then it is out of boundary, where it becomes a blower blowing air through it, seeking concern and finally detaches in plot.
I consider saying love is not what you need at this juncture, if you really love it should give birth to love, not delinking or breaking relation, and you should seek medicine to make your wavering heart settle calm.
Nobody can do with sleeping medicine, you just need to calm down your brain cells that are spoiling towards destruction, and no man is that weak and any man respects woman. Hope your family and mother knows what you are going through, not forcing you to take pills, and i see she is member in this site watching you everything, and they should be careful about you, as you are breaking head to write……..maybe your husband is catching all thoughts through antenna..
Usha Jacob.
Hi, i see here, nowadays, people are misusing the public sites rather developing friendship, they are threatening suicide attempts. And we should be brave to not get boasted by and i see you are very clever lady and matured that cannot hurt self to destruction……and well educated family.
No think or take my comments as negative.
Usha Jacob,
You can always reach me for suggestions, i will help you out.
hello dearest poet this was from a time in my life I was taking about twenty sleeping pills at a time not realizing that could kill me as I was writing this I thought I would never kill myself intentionally but then I remembered my behavior and how a lot of famous people who have died unitentionally it was sobering thank you for being thoughtful ❤️
Hi,
You didnt die with 20 tablets, then you know death doesnt come to those who take lives of others, try now 55 or maybe 100 tablets definitely for sure you will go to hell. because the reason for thoughts are your own self. Are you threatening to die, how come you are 18 yrs you must be 100 yrs now, and you know God gives life and who takes life is also God, but reasons are different. Few people die together who cant sustain life but in your lines i see you take your life and also want to make others die too.
Nice lines its great someone with great thoughts must have inspired, i am sure you will block me after reading this, and i dont care any evil brains threatening us……….
Usha Jacob.
you are rude and thoughtless…
Powerful work. Vivid and sharp.
thank you graciously dearest Thomas I was reading your poem and realizing my drug use puts me in danger much like your poem I would never intentionally kill myself but accidental could happen it’s sobering ❤️
This shows your talent as a writer and very good.
thank you dearest Adagio I was drawing on my days in the past and my current addictions ❤️