shift

emotional duress I confess due to past traumas
feeling disconnected, I have compartimenalized feelings, that have become split personalities

my mind is full of tripwires and mazes
the way in and out of my thoughts safely isn’t known even to me
one word can trigger an outdouring, then a shift in personas

lost in my internal prison I can sometimes hear my others speaking
strangers to me I know their names but why and how they are here is unknown
somtimes I lose up to a month or more of memory

these souls a lot of the time don’t share my view points
people around me don’t always see the shift unless they know me real well
but animals who love Brenda don’t neccesarily love the others
other times these beings will upset my loved ones
because they have no knowledge of these people, no connection to these people
no history or love

for instance one of them is a young teen
who refers to my husband as the kindly older gentlemen who buys us candy
while another tries to seduce him but she is very aggressive and only responds to anger

me I am gentle and I try to remain centered
forgotten home my soul knows not where it goes

then there is a child part of me full of rage
she appears to be from a past life
and she is known and loved in hell
this being her only safe place
her only place to release her rage

she has a room there and she is careful where she directs this rage
because she loves the denizens some born there others sent there
freest in the verses is an Alien Goddess who comes here and messes with my timeline
then their is the brotherfuckers men from another space and timeline
they were part of the war in heaven before the fall of man
Lucifer and his favorite brother I don’t know his name
but he says he stays with me to protect my honor

to handle business and to disguise the rest of us the human I’m supposed to be
everyone uses what they call my memory banks to experience and access things
much like a computer except the mind is not limited to it’s parameters
my soul is present here and other places at one time
painful understanding my warning lights have gone off
and the bombs have gone off, exploded fair warning shrapnel likely