heart open and longing
it hurts to need
but our nature desires a reciprocal love
sometimes it’s just not there
no matter what we do
it seems all people want someone to reject
someone to makee fun of
and for me it’s been the same no matter the circle I’m in
if people are all reflections of God’s personality
it disheartens me, I really bought into unconditonal love of the Father
when really I was made for nothing more than a whipping post
you know how it goes, it’s popular to be part of the crowd jeering at somone
some people only eat cruelty
my pain must be some rare desert
dreaded fear is to never be loved unconditionally
just by one being, but I worry it is a made up word
that no one will love me this way
I’m schizophrenic and I often do what I would not
my delusions say God loves me the way I am
the Christians of the world say only if I conform to an image
my heart sinks I’ve tried and understand there is no hope of this
when people look at me with disdain
my soul can’t help but wonder, is this God looking at me through there eyes?
lonely existence with the knowledge I have no one to understand me
worse yet there is no beautiful resting place for me, after the torment
in the fable dictionary should begin with two key words unconditional love and heaven
