She was a minimalist; I’m just not into ‘stuff’
so neither of us tended to hold on to things.
Now, I find some comfort in her room;
the wonderful haven she had made it.
I can’t hold her, but I hold a jumper
or a blanket, or a cuddly toy
because they make me think of her.
I just learned
that the pink unicorn teddy-hippo-pig… thing
is supposedly dating Sammy the panda teddy,
so I’m very glad I kept them together!
I sent Dan the dog toy with her,
as well as Louise the new bunny,
a knitted kitten from Nanny in her hand;
a pink heart tied to her wrist;
we have a matching one.
It’s strange what else we won’t let go.
Always perfectly groomed,
she hated that I wore my hair long and wavy,
especially when it got too straggly.
Now she’s gone, I can’t bring myself to trim it;
to cut off the hair I had, while I still had her.
It’s as illogical as trying desperately to hold back time;
not wanting March to arrive,
and having to leave her behind in February.
I don’t know what I’m doing, or how to cope,
so I sit here in April with Sammy the panda,
the unicorn-teddy-thing
and my hair skimming my hips.
