my fingers tremble violently in the silence
etched with failures I can’t erase
that first chord strikes like a breath
splittin open every wound I’ve tried to hide
Ravel understood how music shoulders
life’s unbearable weight crushin human hearts
his echoes expose all my secret scars
and the silent damage that never truly fades
each haunted sound cuts deeper than hope
diggin up memories I’ve buried alive
my father’s rage lingerin in every note
in all I’ve destroyed tryin to silence his voice
these keys never judge how many times
I’ve collapsed sobbin and beggin for oblivion
how many mornins I’ve faced with shakin hands
how this life feels like walkin on shattered glass
I play til my vision blurs beneath the flood
til fingers bleed in raw salvation
til this mountain of grief shifts
into somethin that might finally set me free
as that final note fades into silence
the storm will calm under my hands
the chains will fall from round my chest
til I can almost convince myself I am whole
I’ve never understood how music can do that, so rather than continue going crazy trying to figure it out (because I do that), I just go with it.
The catharsis is better than any medication in my opinion (med free for almost two years).
I really enjoyed the evolution of this piece.
really? never had music breathe life back into you? med free sounds nice. thanks for readin.
Oh, yes I have. I should clarify. I just go with the music, let it cleanse me.
I used to go crazy trying to figure out how it was supposed to help, so I couldn’t enjoy it. My brain was too active. I had to learn to just let the music take over, so it’s job.
“These keys never judge how many times
I’ve collapsed sobbin and beggin for oblivion”
To break down and just let it all out…we all need that from time to time.
we definitely do.
I say it all the time on Backstage. “Music is the soundtrack of our lives.” I believe that 100%. Powerfully penned, Ambjr. Loved this write my friend. Appreciate you.
Damian
that it is. thanks Damian