People say I’m brave
and that’s true;
or I have become that way, at least.
They tell me I’m strong,
which I’ve had to be
when the only alternative was to let everyone down.
I get myself dressed, manage my hair,
answer my texts, fulfil small commitments –
even see my friends at times.
To all intents and purposes,
that’s a life and I’m living it.
I need to show my daughter that I can do it.
What others don’t know
is that after two months, I cannot plan for, buy or fix food.
I can’t finish a book, make all the phone calls,
manage my diary or my to-do list.
I haven’t yet started to tackle the thank you letters
or answer the scores of emails that I intend to.
I’m not yet working, but realised today
that I’m not coping. I’m drowning.
I’m very sorry Ellie let go of the thank you notes people will understand do what you can only ❤️
I very nearly dropped out of NaPo yesterday. It was my birthday, it had got to 10pm and I had nothing written for two days. But I made myself do it. Life had already taken too much from me this year.