I need ….

**Am I Not Answering You?**

Am I not answering you,

In the silence between my breaths?

You spoke in words that burned like fire,

Saying I was drifting away—

But did you ever wonder

How deeply I was missing you?

That day, I wasn’t lost—

I was on my knees,

Praying, whispering your name,

“I love you, Jacob…”

Again and again,

Like it could bring you back to me.

I waited for your call,

Seconds turning heavy in my hands,

Hours dissolving into days…

You never came.

And somewhere in that waiting,

I changed—

Or maybe I broke into my own silence.

You never let me say it fully,

The love I carried to your door.

You saw my words,

But let them fall unheard.

And I never asked why—

Maybe I was too afraid of the answer.

You said you missed me…

But never said you loved me

With the certainty I needed.

And this foolish heart of mine

Kept waiting—

Hours into days,

Days into months,

Months into years.

I came all this way for you,

Even when you never asked me to—

You said, “Come home…”

But where is that home?

The laughter I imagined,

The warmth of your mother’s kitchen,

The love I dreamed of serving with my own hands—

I see none of it.

You never let me belong there.

You saw my tears,

Heard my trembling voice,

Came close enough to wipe them away—

And still, I cried,

“Jacob, I can’t live without you…”

But you turned,

And walked away.

Was that the last time I saw you?

Or just another memory

I’m forced to hold alone?

I miss you, Jacob.

But love—

Love alone is not enough

To build a family.

It needs promise,

It needs staying,

It needs two hearts choosing

The same forever.

And I don’t know

If that day will ever come…

Still—

My eyes wait for you,

Endlessly,

On the road to a home

I once believed in.

Because I cannot return

To a place that took my parents away.

So if you still ask me

To come “home”…

Promise me again—

That this time,

You will stay.

— Jessy Jacob ❤️

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