FAT AGNES

Fat Agnes

The bells and whistles went off
on the top of the slot machine
when Agnes won $10,000 after
church on Sunday…with church funds.

Agnes has embezzled over $2,000
in the past 6 months. Win, lose and
payback…over and over. The amount
of church cash funneled was $5,000.

“Sweet Jesus!” she screamed! Even
with taxes, she could pay off what
she took and have a nice kitty to
perhaps take to Vegas. Oh yeah.

Or, she thought…she could cash the
check in the morning and just go to
Vegas first. Double her winnings.
That sounded even better to her.

She splurged on a cab home and
started packing. Then she slept and
dreamed of piles of money in a
mansion. A sign from her loving God!

The bank opened and the cash was
in her hands at 9:05 am. It was a two
minute walk to the church to replace
the money – a walk she didn’t take.

A jitney took her to the airport for $20.
She caught the first flight out. After
taxes there was $6,000 in her purse.
She loved all the lights of Las Vegas.

She was in awe of how many Casinos
were in front of her. A taxi nearly hit
her. But God was with her. She felt so
lucky…and before her was “Lucky’s.”

Another sign from God. And the name
of a tavern near the church in Buffalo.
So excited, her first stop was the ladies
room to tinkle. Now she was ready.

Her first spin won her another $500.
It took two hours to lose everything.
Another minute to realize she had
no money to get herself back home.

Two and a half hours after arriving
in Vegas, she sucked off a man for
$10. Fat Agnes wasn’t young, shapely,
or pretty. The man tasted of old piss.

Back to the casino she went!