Footsteps pass the doorway
A small breeze often checking on me
Their heartbeats—pretend knocking
Silence grows louder than the moment
It never leaves me be
Nights lie wide awake
Glaring at a stormy ceiling
—Torn observations
The room’s clothing disintegrates
In darkness, sleep lies naked
Birds coo inside dawn’s void
Good morning nightmares
Aren’t you so proud of me?
For waiting—until you remembered to care,
About not wanting to deal with me—anywhere.
The door swings shut, the crying stops.
Just the fly and me now
Droning in void’s dawn—
Buzzing replaces what is left
I’m only here to ignore myself
It’s much better this way
Relief finally!—has given day rest
Aren’t I so proud?
Muffled voices and laughs,
Sleep sound tonight—
So I’ll keep this fly.
Very cool. Intriguing. You have a solid structure here. It’s telling but not so obvious that the reader yawns through it, because you didn’t waste over-writing the lines. I really like the whole idea of it. Truly.
Thank you Styx, I didn’t expect anyone to reply. What do you think the idea is?