Trillium

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Drieks
10 months, 4 weeks ago

I’m so in awe (jealous) of your flow…

Thank you for sharing!
- S. Libellule
  10 months, 4 weeks ago
  
  Thanks so much… sometimes it works…
Daniel Long
10 months, 4 weeks ago

This poem itself is wildfire, S. Yes, reveal the real you.. more and more in your work! Another great read…

Daniel
DampKitten
10 months, 4 weeks ago

WHO has ever heard of a generic dragon? Just wow. I don’t think so.
I love this piece, though. You elaborate the exhausting discouragement of inherent transparency to the point of being invisible. We’re all just another ant on the hill… until we drag home that rubber tree plant. Or, you can just blow fire! It worked for Godzilla.

You’re no more generic than a Ferrari. Give me a ride.
Thomas W. Case
10 months, 3 weeks ago

Superb work. Powerful.
Damian DeadLove
10 months, 3 weeks ago

Life of a writer, LDF. Powerful my friend. Appreciate you.

Damian

DampKitten
10 months, 3 weeks ago

I can seriously feel the tension in this piece, Daniel. You’re building this beautifully. My recommendations are to look at other options for the word, ‘snow’. It becomes redundant. Also, Chloe might refer to the men in the shadows as ‘bad boys’, but Gwen and the narrator may want a more specific term – something more specific or sophisticated and relevant to the circumstances.

Your writing is compelling
- Daniel Long
  10 months, 3 weeks ago
  
  Meg, thank you as always. Good thing it is only a freewrite and I’ll be putting it together as a more tuned first draft. I see this turning into a novella.

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