I enjoyed how this came full circle.
It started with an irritating bumpy grocery car wheel then at the end he didn’t care about his dented rim.
It’s symbolic because it shows movement your write. How your day can start out mundane but end on a high note.
I enjoyed the read:)

Thank you so much. I’m glad you enjoyed it.

I go through the same dilemma with the shopping carts, Sam. I always get the one that feels like there’s an earthquake commencing. How funny! I loved how you allowed your reader to follow through your excursion from aisle to aisle, frozen foods and pink toenails. What a gem. Much enjoyed…and I love this photo of you, too!

Thank you, Kelly. There are the ones that won’t steer straight, also. I tell my single 34 year-old son to spend more time at the grocery store.

I’m big on the closing lines of a poem. What an impact they make. It’s the impression your reader walks away with, that stays in your head like a song you can’t shake. The lost loves and the unrequited loves are always on my hit list. You nailed this one, Damian…so good!

This was hidden? Man, this was screaming to be let out. “No winners because the race was fixed.” Yup.
This is a great piece, cuz

The last stanza is a real ass kicker! The rhyme scheme is cool too. It’s obvious that you care about your results. It shows in your craftings. This is thought provoking, but not heavy. Well done Damian.

I too enjoyed the rhyme scheme. Everyone can relate to this. We’ve all been there.
When you both know it was over a few months back!
Great write amigo!

wow dearest Damian so much power and passion in this I am floored ❤️great write…

Now aint that the truth so bloomin well poemed .. Say it like it is why don’tcha eh .. Great ink Damian & subsequently awarded Nev’s dubble 👍👍

This is dark, deep, and brilliant, Damian. I’m glad you dug it out of the vault! The honesty in this poem is cutting, and the final lines–“instead of owning we rented / while love got strangled” –are a phenomenal, memorable finish. A wicked good read.

“another moment dies”

That’s the thing people lose sight of. Once the moment is gone…it’s gone. What we make of it bears a lot of weight. I’d rather carry honest weight than the baggage of pretense. I’m glad you found this one. It needed to breathe, my friend

Damian, great rhyme and flow while delivering a strong message.
Excellent work sir.

Hard hitting piece. So true my friend. kick-ass write Damian.

You took me into this scene. I felt this.

Powerfully penned, Kelly. Excellent write my friend. Appreciate you.

Damian

Figuring out the small stuff can be overwhelming! Thank god for solitaire.
I enjoy the sound and feel of shuffling a deck of cards. It takes away all the noise in your head.
That’s where my mind took me while reading this. Feeling this and really putting myself in the scene.
Loved this!

Hello Adelphina! I very much enjoy playing solitaire, too…and you’re right, it does calm down the noise in your head. It was the perfect fit for this poem too, I think. Thank you so much for your review. I am most thrilled to meet you!

readin this hits hard so full of pain I’ve been there but that is the nature of love isn’t it to bring us so much pleasure then so much pain no way around it… great write ❤️

its that kind of stuff that will always get in the way and stops us in our tracks every time isn’t it .. the guy was a fool .. and just between you n me .. I know a good hitman who owes me a favour or two .. write on K .. N

Beautiful piece….sad but beautiful.🙏

Love….it’s a blessing and a curse at the same time. They just take turns. This is a sad one, Kelly. All those lonely people on youtube could probably relate in their own way to this. There’s always meaning behind your poems. 🙂

Thank you, Tim. So good to finally see the man behind the poet!

It took me a while before I got “used to” a lonely bed. Kelly, your poem hits home, and all I can think to say is, it’s a hard task sleeping in a lonely bed, where memories linger and the smell of them remains, even after many washings of sheets.

How about a game of gin rummy, over a triple shot of Black Label on the rocks? ;0)

Curt

You are a very good writer yaknow.
And, you must be pretty young, because Jack Daniels is for the younger crowd (so I’ve seen, lol) and we older folks sip Jim Beam. Of course there’s Jamison, but it feels stereotypical when I drink it, LOL.
You ensnare us with all the intricate details within your writes. The thread count sheets, as an example. That is precision detail.
You could easily carry a longer write, and we would be most grateful, because you write so well. It’s good to have you here, you bring quite the talent.

Wow, you sure know how to articulate a compliment! Thank you most kindly for acknowledging the precision detail in my work. I strive for that, that and writing with the brevity of words. I do have lengthier pieces, which I will be posting soon. It’s good to be here. I am quite comfortable in the company of kindness! You’ve made my day. Thank you, again!

Right on, man. Such an inspiring write! Addiction is very much like a ghost, haunting each moment of our lives. I am so happy you were able to push through and maintain. If you ever had any doubt, this poem is proof, that you absolutely do not need alcohol to conjure beauty and meaning on the page.

The last two lines in the third octet scream truth in my mind. Very, very wise.

Clay

Stay true to yourself and keep on pushing forward. Rock on dude!! Great piece of poetry

I love the honesty in this. What a purge of the soul amigo!
This has so much in it. It had its own evolution.
Just terrific!

That’s poetry for ya folks .. Bloomin brill my friend .. Neville 😎👍

“My pen became a sword
poetry served as pseudo armor”

Amazing how many of us are among this army. Accepting help is so hard. Especially if you’ve rarely been offered a hand. And we’re all kinda programmed to ‘suck it up’…like being human is a weakness. Stripped raw & flushing the wounds here, brutal honesty at its finest, my friend

This poem is raw, honest, and deeply moving. Knowing you wrote it just months into your sobriety makes it even more powerful –your pen becomes both sword and shield, guiding you from darkness to hope. A beautiful testament to resilience and the strength of new beginnings.