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Daniel, this both beautiful and sad. I’m so sorry your father felt like a ghost to you. For me, it was my mother who dropped the ball at motherhood. She pushed my father away from us children. He was a good man, but she wouldn’t allow me to get to know him.
Think about this, bad things happen sometimes to push us forward, to make us stretch and grow. I believe you have, Daniel.
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I had a similar experience with my father.
It’s took me decades to understand his silence
But like you somewhere down the line I found a pen that allowed me to write and I never looked back.
Years later after so much need that went unanswered I finally made peace with his silence. He loved his family, he just wasn’t vocal for for whatever reasons. On my wedding day he did speak a loving dedication to my wife and I. I carry that in my heart.
He was a fine father now gone 26 years. I think of him everyday and when I need guidance I find him on my shoulder with silent wisdom.
I wish you godspeed, if he’s alive there’s perhaps still time Daniel
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