• Profile picture of Fia Naturie

    Fia Naturie wrote a new post

    Welcome to another edition of Stars Rite News and Updates!

    As we ease into the summer months, I’d be remiss if I didn’t remind you to carry the essentials every poet and writer needs. If you’re old-school like some of us, don’t forget your trusty pen, a small notepad, and...

    Read More
    4 Comments
  • Profile picture of Fia Naturie

    Welcome to another edition of Stars Rite News and Updates!

    As we ease into the summer months, I’d be remiss if I didn’t remind you to carry the essentials every poet and writer needs.
    If you’re old-school like some of us, don’t forget your trusty pen, a small notepad, and maybe even a pair of sunglasses if you’re trying to stay incogni…Read More

    Profile PhotoProfile Photo liked this
  • Profile picture of CasketSharpe

    CasketSharpe wrote a new post

    (Motherfucka Season) Curl Activator Christmas X

                 “Fresh dog shit on the rug or white bird shit on the windowStains unwanted that have to motherfuckin go,            “Similar when I scrub period blood off my ballsUsing her boyfriend’s toothbrush after fucking menstrual walls,             “The thought alone...

    Read More
    2 Comments
  • Profile picture of Daniel Long

    Daniel Long wrote a new post

    Gothic Rose: Part Six

    As you gaze       and come to recognize            the black fire within me,                and realize you're now claimed,   you say, "no gothic rose       can be dominated!        ...

    Read More
    2 Comments
  • Profile picture of Fia Naturie

    Fia Naturie wrote a new post

    In Search of Fantasia pt 2

    Several weeks at sea and no flower as yet. The crew was still in high spirits due to the captain’s demeanor Vivian suspects. She has been watching him since the day they set sail. The way he treats his crew...

    Read More
    4 Comments
    • Brilliantly penned, Fia. Love this story my friend, the dialogue definitely gives it a 40’s vibe. Fantastic write. Appreciate you.

      Damian

    • Thank you and I appreciate your comments.

    • Love what you’re doing, girl. Honestly, this feels much older than the 40’s to me. Darrius feels somehow like a pirate, and Vivian his captive. Of course, she isn’t a prisoner. Or is she? This is intentional.

      And Darrius is such an egotistical SOB. What guy tells a woman that everyone on board can see her intentions? That’s a guy who is overly confident, a guy who wants to make things more difficult for himself, who creates a challenge from a gift.,

      Love the dialogue. There’s limited description and imagery here, which is actually where you might more specifically date the scene as if that really mattered. My one suggestion would be backing off spoon feeding your reader about the thoughts and feelings of your characters. Let them act it out, and we can all come to our own conclusions.

      You’ve got a lot to cover in two more chapters. The centerpiece of this mysterious journey has yet to be exposed. What would be the purpose of searching out a flower under the urgent circumstance of war?

  • Load More Posts

My Friends

Profile Photo
Bat Powers
@batpowers
Profile Photo
Crimsin
@crimsin
Profile Photo
Atticus Abbey
@bonjour
Profile Photo
Aldo Kraas
@poetaldo256
Profile Photo
Lady J
@mzprettypussie18gmail-com

Groups

Group logo of Unsung Underground
Unsung Underground
Private Group
Group logo of Music is Art
Music is Art
Public Group

My Recent Posts

Penthouse Hunger

ENDING IT ALL

New Report

Close