Yes, I still write. When we first met back in college, I began writing her love poems. One of her girlfriends asked me if I would always write her poetry and I told her and the woman I would marry, “I will always write you poetry”. But I stopped, “life” was my excuse. We did not last (5 years total), not because of the poetry, but we began to see life differently and she got a boyfriend instead of us trying to fix things. But, always writing her poetry became a metaphor for my mistakes in our relationship, the things that I did wrong and contributed to our splitting up. I was more the “typical man” and had to learn the hard way to consciously give that shit up. I have believed that it has been this learning process about patriarchy that has made me more humane and a better human being. So yes, I still write her poetry because I never want to forget and want to continue seeing women with mutual respect and equality, as full human beings. Thank you Fia for reading and your kind words.

Thank you, Adelphina. I really appreciate your comment and happy you found it moving. I often think about her, how she’s doing, is she happy, wondering how her life has been. She has always held a piece of my heart. Thanks again, I hope you are well Adelphina.

I look back at old photos now and think wtf? I don’t think they can win if we don’t play the game. So I bowed out in favor of just being me. Thank you, Fia

Thank you! 🙌

I think if it hadn’t been those closest to me (my cousin not included) doing the comparing and always pointing out my failings, it wouldn’t have been so easy to believe the bullshit. And yes, the avatar is me. Hair colour subject to change without notice, but it always returns to its natural white. Thank you, Peter

I lived with my cousin and her family for a year in 8th grade and I remember coming around the corner to her room and hearing her tell her best friend she was afraid her boyfriend would like me better because I was prettier than her. I froze in my tracks in shock. The way society (and family) feeds us such bullshit to tear us down is mind blowing. It wasn’t long after that incident that she told me how she has to play the game. She chose to continue to play the game…on her terms though. I said fuck that and stopped trying. Amazing what we see when we look back through the mirror of time, isn’t it? Thank you, my friend