Just an update: this narrative poem is evolving into a novella or possibly a full-length novel, depending on how much it expands as I continue writing and editing. I’ll be sharing more chapters as I work on it, and I’d really appreciate feedback from anyone who takes the time to...

Good poem, might I suggest adding punctuation here and there to really tighten the flow, and double check your wording, some of it is a bit clunky.

The image I added before the poem is a more accurate version of what I pictured in my head while writing this.

Well couldn’t get the original format in this site so I don’t think it reads as well as I want it to.

This was a fun one to write. It’s made up of haikus and I wanted to play around with its structure to kind of invoke a slight sense of madness when reading it. Hopefully people like it.