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FlatDaddy joined the group
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RICHARD "Rascal" JENKINS posted in the group ”BACK TO POETRY BASICS”
GOODNESS, TFT!
Now, THAT is a proper Sonnet … it’s obvious you’ve done your homework.
Your creativity sparks, emotion sings, and diction dances. And, I like your use of elision. Could use a bit’a punctuation.
See critique and edits below:I said I don’t do THIS. POems that behave (STRESS-STRESS / a count long)
that count their beats and…Read More![Profile Photo]()
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3 Comments-
![Profile picture of twofiftythree]()
much appreciated. good luck convincin me to use punctuation 😉
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![Profile picture of RICHARD "Rascal" JENKINS]()
Now, Syr Bard
Post it so everyone can enjoy your amazing flexibility and creativity with a poet’s pen.
I’ll be first in line to review it for you! ⁓ Richard
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twofiftythree posted in the group ”BACK TO POETRY BASICS”
I said I don’t do this. poems that behave
that count their beats and beg to sound profound
but here I am the fool you couldn’t save
all rhyme and reason. love still hangin roundI hate this form. it’s polished. cold. confined
like scrubbin blood just so it stains again
I tell myself to leave your heart behind
but every line just drags…Read More![Profile Photo]()
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FlatDaddy wrote a new post
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Read MoreWhen I grow up IThen will blow up myDress shirt and necktie(Bes’ suit too!), Heck IMeans I’ll wear LeviJeans and my tenniShoes, And I’ll choose toLose those ol’ blues, doDrink some good booze, too!Think I may snooze twoDays, read...
5 Comments-
![Profile picture of Willow]()
I don’t know if I ever grew up. Losing that spark of silly just seems tragic to me. Glad you stumbled on this old gem. Made me smile 😊
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![Profile picture of FlatDaddy]()
Oh, thank you! I wasn’t sure I wanted to keep it, but reading it again made me smile, too, so I thought I’d share it and see what others thought. If no one else leaves a positive note, you alone have made this venture worthwhile.
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![Profile picture of FlatDaddy]()
Thank you dearly my friend! I so need all this feedback! You and Willow have lifted me up today! It is I who need you!
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![Profile picture of redzone]()
You??!! Grown up?? Highly doubtful, not with pup-pies running around or with fishbowl gup-pies. And I am guessing you are good friends with that ‘flying’ Peter and his pixie friend. I think we “older” folk need a slogan or motto, something like “The older I gets, the younger I feels” (in mind if not in body…LOL). And of course we will also need a theme song, this poem will do quite nicely I think!!!! Go, FlatDaddy, GO! Keep on rockin’ tha stage!! And the crowd ‘snaps’ galore.
Curt
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![Profile picture of FlatDaddy]()
Oh, hell, Curt, you don’t want to REALLY get me going, do you? Really? Because I can do that, Curt. That’s what I was MADE FOR! You asked for it! Check out: https://starsrite.com/2025/09/26/i-know-why-im-here-how-bout-you-2/ That is me. And please, it is “Spoken Word,” so go to the bottom of the page where you can click it to hear the Audio version and follow along with the text.
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RICHARD "Rascal" JENKINS and
twofiftythree are now friends
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V3L4 should be: What’s next, a ballad? Maybe, one or two.