-
![Profile picture of Fia Naturie]()
Fia Naturie wrote a new post
![]()
Read MoreSeveral weeks at sea and no flower as yet. The crew was still in high spirits due to the captain’s demeanor Vivian suspects. She has been watching him since the day they set sail. The way he treats his crew...
4 Comments-
![Profile picture of Fia Naturie]()
Thank you and I appreciate your comments.
-
![Profile picture of DampKitten]()
Love what you’re doing, girl. Honestly, this feels much older than the 40’s to me. Darrius feels somehow like a pirate, and Vivian his captive. Of course, she isn’t a prisoner. Or is she? This is intentional.
And Darrius is such an egotistical SOB. What guy tells a woman that everyone on board can see her intentions? That’s a guy who is overly confident, a guy who wants to make things more difficult for himself, who creates a challenge from a gift.,
Love the dialogue. There’s limited description and imagery here, which is actually where you might more specifically date the scene as if that really mattered. My one suggestion would be backing off spoon feeding your reader about the thoughts and feelings of your characters. Let them act it out, and we can all come to our own conclusions.
You’ve got a lot to cover in two more chapters. The centerpiece of this mysterious journey has yet to be exposed. What would be the purpose of searching out a flower under the urgent circumstance of war?
-
![Profile picture of Fia Naturie]()
I will take your suggestion to consideration. Enjoying your take on this.
-
-
![Profile picture of Nick DC]()
Nick DC wrote a new post
![]()
Read MoreInspired by: Tom MacDonald, MadChild Ft. Nova Rockafeller - Going to Hell https://youtu.be/_hyQofXdozs?si=PsuPtc-6aYQR0uL- I show up at the gates of heaven the angels say come in but this isn’t at all what I imagined a bunch of nerds playing scrabble I try to get some...
-
-
![Profile picture of thoughtsdie]()
So many parts missing
-
![Profile picture of Crimsin]()
hello dearest poet yes sadly thank you 💕
-
-
![Profile picture of Damian DeadLove]()
Powerfully penned, Brenda. Thanks for sharing my friend. Appreciate you.
Damian
-
![Profile picture of Crimsin]()
hello dearest Damian good afternoon thank you for reading and leaving a kind comment 💕
-
-
![Profile picture of Thomas W. Case]()
Superb work.
-
![Profile picture of Crimsin]()
hello dearest Thomas good afternoon thank you graciously for reading and commenting 💕
-
-
-
![Profile picture of Average Joe]()
Average Joe wrote a new post
![]()
Read MoreI think of youAnd can’t help thinking about usAn openingAn unfoldingThe falling of wallsAnd guardsThe laying aside of old fearsAnd old livesAs the new opens before meIn layersLike the petals of a roseWith the coming of the sunGlistening with...
4 Comments-
![Profile picture of Crimsin]()
hello dearest Joe so much passion inside you I am overcome with a feeling sigh to be loved like this beautiful 💕
-
![Profile picture of Average Joe]()
Life is hard enough. Love should feel like this. At least I think it should 🌼
-
-
![Profile picture of Fia Naturie]()
Aww, not a dream. That is perfect. Nice spill.
-
![Profile picture of Average Joe]()
Thank.you for the compliment, I’m glad this poem made you feel that way.🌼
-
-
-
![Profile picture of Fia Naturie]()
Fia Naturie wrote a new post
![]()
Read MoreThe year is 1940. A time where everything and everyone was in the swing of things. It was around that time that the great, granddaughter of Count Andre Spade was coming into her own in society.A well-educated lady with...
8 Comments-
![Profile picture of Damian DeadLove]()
Beautifully penned, Fia. Fantastic storytelling my friend, I dig the 40’s vibe as well. Incredible start to this story, very interesting write so far. Appreciate you.
Damian
-
![Profile picture of Fia Naturie]()
Thank you, I had this story running around in my head and I had fun writing it down.
-
-
![Profile picture of Nick DC]()
Very engaging. And yeah I also enjoy the 40s vibe.
Great ink-
![Profile picture of Fia Naturie]()
Thank you, Nick I will be posting part two
-
-
![Profile picture of Thomas W. Case]()
Excellent. You bring this to life.
-
![Profile picture of Fia Naturie]()
Thank you, Thomas appreciates that.
-
-
![Profile picture of DampKitten]()
What is the ‘Fantasia’ Flower? Are we to find out about this, or am I supposed to know?
You would certainly think Vivian would presuppose that Mr. Hooker might expect substantial incentive to carry her off for the purpose of finding a flower, regardless of her alluring appearance. She’s asking quite a lot here – expertise, transportation, financial collateral. What is she offering as enticement? I get the impression that Mr. Hooker is European? (His father was a knighted Botanist?) That suggests he comes from money, though Botanists don’t make any. He must have been independently wealthy. Botany was a hobby.
As you proceed with your tale, don’t forget that there is a war raging in Europe. Britian is being bombarded by blitzkriegs and at the verge of collapse. France has fallen to the Germans. The US will be involved within the year. It’s not a time of luxury and leisure unless you happen to live in Berlin. The depression began in 1929 and lasted until the war in 1941. All travel overseas is suspect and risky. You would expect someone like Darrius to be involved with the war as most of the male population his age.
The writing is crisp, Fia. I like it. Raiders of the Lost Ark was staged during this time period. One of my favorites!
xoxoxo
-
![Profile picture of Fia Naturie]()
Girl, you are amazing. How you just broke this down and gave a history lesson. You surprise me all the time.
-
-
- Load More Posts
Brilliantly penned, Fia. Love this story my friend, the dialogue definitely gives it a 40’s vibe. Fantastic write. Appreciate you.
Damian