I like the breaks of “and yet” This is great theme for this month, I enjoyed this.

Thanks, Fia. I am so glad you like the line breaks. I feel that, with certain writes, visual presentation can be important to how the piece is perceived. This is one of those.

I caught the curse vibe in this.
It slowly built up like a possession of his mind and actions
Until it turned into an obsession. I enjoyed devotion in this.

This is a right good salty tale, especially so since it comes from an Air Force dude. (Makes me a bit jealous, it does) Never see the shore again? I know the feeling, but here’s a tip–if you look to that fluid horizon at night, you will often see tiny lights.

Rock on, Love this crimsin

Fantastic!

I love the rock god!!!
So many great lines in this but I absolutely love flame of fright!!
Cheers to the darkness!

Passionately penned, Brenda. Always a great write when music is involved in the story. Excellent work my friend. Appreciate you.

Damian

​I love the commanding voice in this poem! It isn’t a passive admirer; she’s a “Mistress,” an active conjurer of lust. The use of words like “Hexaba,” “culted lust,” and “sanctify the rite with orgasm” is brilliant for creating that sense of forbidden, consuming desire. A passionate wicked piece.

Rob Fuckin Zombie Brenda!! Have you ever listened to White Zombie’s early material from the 1980’s? I personally think it’s horrible. Check it out if you haven’t. Awesome piece of writing. Love the chick…Sexy!!

Really intense images.
I definitely saw a scene of the occult unfolding in these words.

I both admire and fear witches.

Regards James

A wonderful write Crimsin. I hope you have a spectacular day this day.

Bat

hello dearest Bat thank you graciously for the love on this ❤️

I’m big on the closing lines of a poem. What an impact they make. It’s the impression your reader walks away with, that stays in your head like a song you can’t shake. The lost loves and the unrequited loves are always on my hit list. You nailed this one, Damian…so good!

This was hidden? Man, this was screaming to be let out. “No winners because the race was fixed.” Yup.
This is a great piece, cuz

The last stanza is a real ass kicker! The rhyme scheme is cool too. It’s obvious that you care about your results. It shows in your craftings. This is thought provoking, but not heavy. Well done Damian.

I too enjoyed the rhyme scheme. Everyone can relate to this. We’ve all been there.
When you both know it was over a few months back!
Great write amigo!

wow dearest Damian so much power and passion in this I am floored ❤️great write…

Now aint that the truth so bloomin well poemed .. Say it like it is why don’tcha eh .. Great ink Damian & subsequently awarded Nev’s dubble 👍👍

This is dark, deep, and brilliant, Damian. I’m glad you dug it out of the vault! The honesty in this poem is cutting, and the final lines–“instead of owning we rented / while love got strangled” –are a phenomenal, memorable finish. A wicked good read.

“another moment dies”

That’s the thing people lose sight of. Once the moment is gone…it’s gone. What we make of it bears a lot of weight. I’d rather carry honest weight than the baggage of pretense. I’m glad you found this one. It needed to breathe, my friend

Damian, great rhyme and flow while delivering a strong message.
Excellent work sir.

Hard hitting piece. So true my friend. kick-ass write Damian.

I steer clear of political stuff (and raunchy porn.)
But your write is very well done. Not severe in its judgements, but insightful. This is the way to open people’s eyes and minds. With maturity within a write. You succeed here.
Well done, sir.

This is insightful without being preached to. I also enjoyed the rhythm in this too.
Great message with style

I enjoyed the read.

Glad you enjoyed..unfortunately politics are topical so sometimes it warrants being written about..the climate of our government is toxicly boiling.. thank you for commenting..I appreciate it