I really like this beat-nik vibe. Thank you for sharing. I had a friend
who wrote beat style- from San Francisco. Miss that guy.
I like those avant garde stylings. Keep that up

Thanks. Not many left who appreciate what the greats of that era contributed. There’s a guy named Vince Balestri who starred in a movie about Kerouac, titled “Beat Angel,” which I have not yet seen. I have to order the disk version. It got great reviews, and it should. Before that,,Vince did a one man show, “Kerouac, The Essence of Jack,” for very many years, touring the US. I was lucky to do the PR for the show here in Austin at Chicago House, now defunct. That show was held over, twice. It was inccredible. We became good friends while he was here. A marvelous talent. I don’t know what happened to him, We just lost touch. I miss him, too.

I wanted to say something before I end the read. My initial take on the story is that it is sweet. I appreciate the two colors to keep people engaged with who is speaking. I will finish it and write the rest of this comment.

Oh my.. So they knew each other? She wanted him but was scared; he wanted her but was scared. Seems to go well with what is happening with young people who only talk online. Now, creeping into her place is taking it to another level.
Hopefully it ends well for both of them

Great write….hope you get what you want.

Beautifully penned, Fia. Incredible write my friend, really like this a lot. Appreciate you, cuz.

Damian

It’s a beautiful thing when minds sync on one purpose. Your closing line couldn’t define it better!

Sweetly sung as whispers. A hint of seductive word play without being graphic. I like the subtlety. Leave the reader to build their own visions as they read. Well crafted Fia.

Thank you, Hj xx

Nicely done, Fia. Your romantic side is showing. 🙂

🙂 I’ll bet you can.

Superb and sensual. Excellent.

Nicely done, Fia, but it seems to need just a bit of punctuation to help with the flow, I wasn’t sure at first how to read it, stopping after each line, then going, “Oh, I see it now.” Nice work.

You can beat an egg and a drum and a carpet .. and a few other things besides .. but you just can’t beat a bit of sync now can ya eh’ .. Very much enjoyed the ride Fia .. Neville 😎👍

Hold on we have to go back to the beginning, we will return on your tightness

Fia, this read like an erotic encounter of a bewitchingly soft yet libidinal ambrosia. There is magic here that takes me into the heart of the poem. I could feel the silken sheets and that last line has to be the most original and brilliant ending “liquid ambrosia”.

John