Host: Tonight, I am interviewing Mr. Adagio who claims to be the refabrication, I mean reincarnation of Howdy Doody. How do you feel Howdy following your procurement, I mean procedure this morning when you were being body searched for the missing antacid tablets…or was it the doctor’s Lenovo?
Adagio: How would you feel if a {bleeping} garden hose was crammed up your big fat {bleep} as you were counting your {bleeping} tootsies. That reminds me of a song;”Toot Toot Tootsie goodbye, Toot Toot Tootsie, don’t cry.”
Host: How do you get along with your ego?
Adagio: I am allergic to Kellogg Eggo Waffles, they make me {bleep} in my {bleeping} nappies, all over the {bleeping} place…slip sliding {bleeping} away.
Host: I meant your brother, Atticus.
Adagio: Why didn’t you said so. I ain’t {bleeping} hard of hearing. What would you think of a lunatic getting his pet frog cyborg a {bleeping} penal implant, on a Sunday morning sidewalk, out of his (bleeping}mind getting stoned on Jesus. Actually, I prefer the old-spring loaded wind up implant. If it breaks down, just call the automobile club.
Host: What do you think of Starsrite’s Dashboard?
Adagio: My Kia’s dashboard is a good place to rest my testicles when I am driving and choking the lizard. I used to put them in the ashtray, but it’s full of butts. Oh, and they are snap-on.
Host: Who was your boyhood idol?
Atticus: My Granny who taught me how to make porn squeezing. Some people call it popping a pimple. It’s pretty simple if you use yeast to make them rise and recite, “This little pimple to market. This little pimple stayed home” blah blah blah.
Host: What would you call your style of writing?
Atticus: Sopping lunacy in my corn bred mind.
Host: Did you in inherit your mind?
Atticus: Actually, exhumed The Mad Hatter, and marinated his personality in pickle relish. The MF, is it ok to say MF, or will I be incarcerated for calling the MF a {bleep}?
Host: Do you enjoy Horatio?
Atticus: Fellatio is just another example of insecurity because Mama don’t get a kick sucking the ball off her trailer hitch…and might I had, I prefer gentler gender, such as an eggplant.
