the willin fool

you place the blade
in my hand
and somethin in your voice
makes it feel right
somethin given just to me
b/c I earned it

and I…
dumb enough to believe you…
hold it careful
watchin the light settle
along the surface
before bringin it to my mouth
slow
draggin my tongue
along the edge
tastin what you promised
til it turns sweet in my mouth

then I step into you
close enough
to feel your breath
hit my cheek
my hand finds yours
fingers foldin in
liftin
guidin the point
to my chest

hold it there
long enough
for you to feel it
for you to know
I see what you’re doin
all of it

and when you hesitate
I smile

my hand tightenin over yours
pushin the knife
between my ribs
pullin you with me
so you can feel the skin break
feel it catch
feel me open

and I lean into it

b/c it’s the only thing
you’ve ever given me
that feels like truth

so I hold it
inside my chest
keepin your hand there
refusin to let you pull away

I know
if I loosen my grip
it might turn back
into somethin that looks like love

and I can’t have that

not again