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    Fia Naturie posted in the group ”BACK TO POETRY BASICS”

    3 months ago

    Monster

    Teeth bared
    He’s scared
    His mind’s a mess
    Trying to handle with finesse
    But to no avail-this ship has sailed
    If it was meant to be-he will return to me

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    1 Comment
    • A laudable effort, Fia 👍
      I love your imaginative theme and how you’ve creatively made this form your own with your unique touches that catch the reader’s mind’s-eye … enjoyably interesting and entertaining.
      Having said that, I’ll also mention a couple of techy issues:
      1. Syllable counts are out in L3 & 4 (should be 2/2), and L6 (should each be a 9-count).
      2. The rhyme-scheme in L5 & 6 should all be the same (c-c, c-c).
      .
      Please, refer (below) to the format details in the directions for the La Kaduta..
      ~··|··~
      (example)
      .
      Monster
      .
      Teeth bared (2)
      He’s scared (2)
      Mind mess (2)
      Finesse (2)
      Seems to no avail – this ship’s set sail (9)
      Prey don’t fail – his return will prevail (9)
      .
      Or, somesuch … LOL!
      Either use these basic edits, or your own ultra-creative imagination for corrections, and this will be a delightful little masterpiece for everyone to enjoy. Don’t hesitate to rewrite or make progressive changes to better your work … flexibility will allow you to reach your highest potential. We cannot improve without the flexibility and willingness to learn and change. But, I’m thinking you already know this, eh? : )
      ~··|··~
      Dear Fia,
      You’ve such great potential to compose equally well in any form your bright pen would wish … it’s the little details that will polish the edges of your efforts to a brilliant glow.
      .
      Thank you ever-so gratefully and warmly for taking part in my “Back To Poetry Basics” sessions, and for the privilege of offering my humble skills to help my Lady & Fellow Poetesses & Poets enjoy a little bit broader spectrum of poetry.
      It’s been an honor serving you and StarsRite … I will give further lesson sessions considerable thought for 2026, and,perhaps, in how to inspire more participation.
      ~··|··~
      Yours truly ⁓ “HAPPY NEW YEAR!”
      Richard “Rascal” Jenkins ; )

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