Submittted by: Twofiftythree
SENT 23 HOURS, 20 MINUTES AGO
think I got it with this one…

the world goes quiet when I think of you
as if the noise remembers to be kind
the pulse slows down the edges soften too
and somethin steadier begins to bind

I’ve spent my life in motion hard and fast
chasin the fire never once the peace
but now I find the ache I held so vast
has gentled learnin mercy in release

you do not calm me nothin ever could
you meet the storm and never ask it cease
you make the breakin feel like somethin good
a wound that opens askin for its peace

and when you speak the noise in me subsides
for once my heart keeps quiet and abides

GORGEOUSLy RENDERED, TFT … I love it … and, just what sonnets are made for: ROMANCE.
Your poetic voice’s syntactic flow, diction, is packed with emotional timbre, and the storyline is poetically palpable, free of ambiguity, and the use of metaphor is sheer visual imagery-filled mind candy.
Your potential literally sings with promise.

A few helpful Critiques:
V2L2 out of meter: “CHASin the FIRE NEVer ONCE the PEACE”
Example fix: “while CHASin FIRE but NEVer ONCE the PEACE”

V2 & V3, L2 & L4 each: Repeated word “peace” and its rhyme (a no-no in a Sonnet).

Sort those wee issues, throw-in a title, and you’ve a virtual masterpiece. If you need a hand, I’m just a message away. ✍

You’re a true joy to work with.
And, I thank you ever-so gratefully for joining-in and sharing You with Us! ⁓ Richard🙏

I have a request that our next session is on the Japanese forms, Haiku & Senryu … I hope you’ll join-in.