Rated for Mature(17+)
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schizo

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Summary:
mental health
defamed and prostituded for my respectability
schizo dreams still desires the norm
when close, is all you will ever have
and just for that you have to fight

we are throw away people
everyone turned their backs on me as a child
too difficult to deal with

no one helped to get me mental health help
no one warned me parenting was probably out of my grasp
romantic feeling for a normal man
cos I'll be honest one like me is enough

so I avoided other mentally ill
I'm relegated to poverty without even enough for rent, so I'm beholden
and I've been in a halfway house where people steal from you
while the staff starves you

so you take less than, in relationships
choose the best out of what will never suit my pride
terribly intelligent but I get lost in my mind sometmes

there is no way I could live alone
my looks and weight are harmed by psych drugs
with the need to fit I take them
if I don't take the pills society will reject me

only problem is they don't always work
with no one lining up to stand by me
weighing the options I took the better of two evils
in the end I found love, but I discovered how fickle it can be


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    3 COMMENTS

    1. Chère C.,
      In a tent, I don’t always have connection with the internet, but I’ll always catch up what you’ve written.

      Looks like the English expression is ‘stand by me’. If that is so, I think the Dutch version is more powerful.
      It’s: achter iemand staan. Stand behind somebody/you.
      So we’re your back up. If you fall we’ll catch you. And we will.

      Because you’re OK. And you matter.

      Don’t worry too much please.
      Warm regards, Gus

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