Depends What Matters…

I don’t know if it’s a society thing…

or what

but this standard that directs us to follow a specified path

you meet…you marry…pop out a few kids

never forgetting the coveted white picket fence

I have a question…

what if that pattern…

isn’t really one size fits all…

I think of all the miserable marriages haphazardly holding it together

barb-wire bonds and razor-blade tongues

pretty smiling face facades

hiding truth’s bloodied walls

…due exclusively to expectations 

how much better would it be

to simply let the individual

determine their own best interests…?

maybe love isn’t about others…

…but learning your best self

…doing what actually fits you best

so you don’t inadvertently savage someone else

if it fits and feels natural…

that’s fabulous 

but if it doesn’t…

maybe step away from pretense

don’t follow the dots predetermined 

landing at somebody else’s idea of perfect

find your own destination 

doesn’t that sound better

than trying to walk someone else’s road?

instead…finding your own

avoiding the hypocrisy 

all the screaming and scheming 

cheating behind the scenes

pretending it’s all good

when it clearly isn’t

we’re not all meant to be spouses

…or parents

as evidenced by child abuse

and domestic violence statistics 

(maybe she never desired to be a mother

or he had no interest in being a husband 

…it was the kids who bore the brunt of their resentment)

I’m at a point in life where I know what I want

and recognize it may not match my needs

but the decisions guiding my actions

…are entirely up to me

and I’m anything but traditional at my soul’s base

I won’t accept any pre-assigned gate

as the only final destination 

if both parties aren’t equally invested

…on the same page

it’s simply time wasted

I know I’ve got a long ways to grow

but I believe I’m worth the investment…

how beautiful it could be…

to cheer each other on as we go

celebrate each other’s personal victories

overcoming another obstacle…

on our own individual journeys 

because nobody on this planet is ever perfect 

and it took me a long damn time to learn it

…the full value of my personal existence 

doesn’t require anyone else’s physical presence

and if love is all we need…

…what’s so wrong with just learning

…to love me?